Fri | Jan 19, 2018

Doctor's Advice | Unable to have an erection

Published:Saturday | July 30, 2016 | 12:00 AM

Q Hello, Doc. I am a guy of 19 years, and I thought that last Saturday night I was going to lose my virginity, at last. She was a beautiful girl and she told me she was very willing. We had a few drinks and then we went to a quiet spot together.

Then, horror of horrors! I just could not do it, Doc. When it came to the moment, I simply wasn't able to have an erection. She was lying back on the sand, waiting for me to enter her, but I couldn't get stiff enough.

Doctor, what could be wrong with me? I looked up impotence on the Internet and it gave all sorts of horrible causes, like cancer, heart disease, leukaemia, and something called 'psychosis'. Help!

A Pay no mind to all that stuff you read on the Internet. Unfortunately, there is a great deal of foolishness on the net - as well as some good and accurate material.

However, in this case, you have been totally misled by what you read. There is not the slightest chance that you have any of the serious medical disorders that you read about.

So, what was wrong with you that night? Well, by far, the most common reason for a young guy to lose his erection just before entering the vagina is nerves. You see, when you are nervous, your body releases a lot of adrenaline into the bloodstream, and, unfortunately, adrenaline is the enemy of erection! It just makes stiff penises collapse.

Incidentally, nerves, anxiousness, and anxiety are all the same thing, and they all make you produce too much adrenaline.

So, if you are getting good erections at other times (like on waking up, or when you have sexy dreams), then the likelihood is that you are just suffering from pre-sex anxiety (sometimes called pre-coital anxiety).

If you wish, you could go to a doctor for a check-up. But the odds are at least 99 to one that he will find nothing physically wrong with you.

My advice is that next time you are in a sexual situation with a female, try to relax. Breathe deeply. Try not to fret. Oh yes, and use contraception.

Finally, I note that you say that you had had a few drinks just before this episode. It is not a good idea to drink alcohol just before trying to have sex. Except in small amounts, alcohol can very easily interfere with the erection process. Alcohol-induced erectile dysfunction is often known as Brewer's Droop'. You have been warned.

Q Doc, I have not seen my menses for four months, yet I have no other signs of pregnancy!

Also, I have hardly had any sex this year. Some time in April or May, I let a guy 'pop in' for a moment or two, but I did not allow him to discharge. So, I do not think I could possibly be pregnant.

A Well, I have to disagree with you. If a guy 'popped into you' for just a few seconds, there has to be a chance that he managed to 'lose off' a few sperms.

So, the only sane course of action now would be to do a pregnancy test. OK, it may well be negative, and if that is the case, we must think about other common reasons young women stop having periods.

These include:

- anaemia (weak blood).

- emotional problems.

- excessive exercise.

- inadequate diet (or even anorexia);

- problems with the ovaries or the thyroid;

- a side-effect of 'the Jab.'

Clearly, if you do the pregnancy test and it is negative, then you must go and see a doctor to find out which of the above is the cause of your absent menses. Good luck.

Q As an 18-year-old guy, I am sometimes concerned about whether sex will do me any harm.

For instance, one night last week I somehow managed to have five orgasms - partly with a girl and partly on my own.

Could that have affected my health, Doctor?

A No. Rather surprisingly, having a lot of orgasms has not been shown to affect the health adversely.

However, if a young guy has repeated climaxes in one evening, the tissues of his penis can fill with watery fluid. This condition of puffiness is known as oedema, and it won't look too good to your partner! It may take five to seven days to go down.

Q Doc, I am the mother of a son of 17 years, and I try to keep an eye on what sort of things he does on the Internet. He is, however, real secretive and often deletes things very quickly - just as I come into the room.

I don't want to pry too much, but recently, I have noticed that he seems to be spending a whole lot of time on websites which feature the word 'MILF' in capital letters.

Is this anything kinky? Or could it mean that he is gay?

A No, it certainly doesn't mean that!

In fact, 'MILF' is a common acronym used by men who are searching the Internet for erotic material involving mature women of say 40 or 50.

I do not propose to translate this acronym for you, since it is rather rude, but if your son is using it, that indicates that he is currently into ladies of a certain age. Maybe it would be a good idea to sit down and talk with him about this matter.

- Email questions to Doc at and read more in the 'Outlook Magazine' tomorrow.