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Does being a Christian mean little to bedroom spontaneity?

Published:Saturday | July 30, 2016 | 7:00 AMTamara Bailey

MANDEVILLE, Manchester:

God ordained sexual intercourse as a beautiful act between male and female under the confines of marriage. But for years, there have been many misconceptions about what a married couple should and should not do in the bedroom.

There has been talk of no sexual activity before or after communion or on the day of worship - to even how the act should be carried out. It was as a result of these notions that Family and Religion sought the opinions of Seventh-day Adventist Pastor Leighton Hynes and a newly wedded Church of God convert.

"There are certain concepts of sex that persons have in mind. But that which is to be prohibited is that which is unnatural. For example, especially in today's society, there are persons who actually promote a certain kind of behaviour in the bedroom - physical abuse even. I believe that those are rare sexual extremities that married Christian couples shouldn't practise," said Hynes.

"Sex is in the mind: you have to know your partner and what both persons are comfortable with - once you are not going against your conscience and the person has a conscience to be concerned about you not wanting to engage in, possibly what they want you to engage in, then it will work."

Hynes expressed that while he has no authority to stipulate what exactly couples should do, the unnatural form of intercourse should be left behind.

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"I can't give a directive towards that. As a pastor, I don't think it is my right to be so involved in a couple's relationship to actually be telling them. Let's say, for example, not to use toys or costumes or not to engage in oral sex. I don't have that authority: what I can say to the couple is that if you and your partner have an understanding about these things and it is somehow in the realm of your Christian relationship, then both of you should operate out of that experience."

He added, "My authority is the word of God, and the Bible says everything should be done decently and in order. It didn't give a written manual as to how to be intimate, but there are certain things that, to me, are unnatural and shouldn't be in the bedroom. For example, anal sex."

With how negatively the world has viewed sexual intercourse, Hynes establishes that sex was made by God, and apart from the period stipulating that the couple should be away from each other, every day gifted is one to bask in the awesomeness.

"Sex is a good thing, but it has been tainted negatively because of how society portrays it. If we see sex as a blessing from God, viewing marriage as honourable and the bed undefiled, then whether it's on a Sabbath or any other day, we have no authority to speak out against a couple engaging. The only time a married couple is to be away from each other is for prayer and fasting, and the Bible says it must not be long, lest there be any temptation. It's about loving your partner, respecting and behaving in a moral compass..."

For newly-wed and new convert Rohan Lee, the issue has been overlooked and under-assessed for years, but it only takes the right mindset and a willingness to listen to the voice of God.

"I don't think you should stop being a Christian to maintain a relationship. From you follow the guidelines of the Holy Spirit and the words from the Bible, you can't go out of the way. It's just that a lot of people who get married and get saved are not fully delivered, and they try to bring in things of the world into marriage to keep marriage going. And you don't need that. You just need to love your spouse. Being a Christian doesn't mean you are dead, just new guidelines," said Lee.

familyandreligion@gleanerjm.com