Thu | Jan 18, 2018

Faith Counsellor | Will I ever get married?

Published:Saturday | August 13, 2016 | 12:00 AM

Dear Joan,

I am getting close to 40 and I am beginning to panic. I have been a Christian since I was in my early 20s and I honestly thought I would have found my life's partner already. In the earlier years, I wasn't actively seeking. I had an attitude of 'if it happens, it happens', but since I touched my 30s, I have been checking out Christian men and hoping that one of them would 'click'.

I am not hard to please and I don't have a long list of requirements. I just want someone who really love the Lord with all his heart and one with whom we can both make life together.

The trouble is, most of the men I come across are either married, a bit young for me or too old.

At this stage, I am not even sure that if and when I do find a husband I will be able to have a child.

I feel a bit depressed about the whole thing and I have to be encouraging myself not to give up. Sometimes I wonder if it is God's will for me to get married.

- L.T.

Dear L.T.,

Cheer up and don't allow yourself to sink into despair or depression. A lot of the times single women put too much pressure on themselves trying to find that perfect partner.

Don't be too desperate to find a husband. Take this time to enjoy your relationship with God. Tell Him of your desire for a life's partner and don't put a time limit on it.

Remember that God is able to do abundantly and above all that we can ask or imagine. If it is His will for you to be a mother even when you are 60, it will happen!

The worst thing you can do is allow impatience to cause you to choose the wrong person. It's best to wait on God's timing, and I do know that it is not something easy to do, especially when you might be feeling lonely and in need of companionship.

In the meantime, try going out to gospel concert, social events and having some fun with fellow Christians.


My husband never goes

to church with me

Dear Joan,

I really need your help. I have tried in every way to get my husband to attend church with me, and so far nothing works.

In the early days when we just got married, he used to attend church with me, but then his visits got fewer and fewer.

I would love for us to present a united front where serving God and the church is concerned, but he said he is not yet ready to make that ultimate commitment.

I am so disappointed in him. No matter how I complain and beg him to change his ways, he just sticks to his stubborn stance. How can I convince him to join me? I am totally out of ideas now.

- J.H.

Dear J.H.,

I think you should just give your husband a break. The best thing you can do right now is to stop nagging him about attending church. Give him a lot of loving and show him God's love through your actions.

Your best testimony is the life you live. During your devotions, pray for him to embrace Christ every single day. Take your desire for his life to the 'War Room' and continue to be a very loving and supportive wife. I guarantee you will get his attention in this fashion. All you are doing at present with your constant pressuring and nagging is causing him to dig in his heels, and giving him more reasons to be stubborn.


n Do you have an issue in the Church and need guidance? Send questions to