Doctor's Advice | Which position is best?
Q Doctor, we are a young couple who are trying to have a baby. We have been having a lot of sex over the past two months, but no luck so far!
We have heard that there are some positions in which a girl is more likely to conceive. Is this true?
Also, a friend has told us that there are some sex positions in which a female cannot conceive at all. How true is that?
A Well, let me begin by dealing with your second question. Many young people believe that there are sex positions in which you cannot get pregnant. Often, they think that conception will not happen if you do it standing up, but that is nonsense. You can conceive in absolutely any sexual posture.
Now, which position offers a couple the best chance of getting pregnant? There has been some research by American sexologists which suggests that the average female is most likely to achieve pregnancy if she has sex lying flat on her back - preferably with knees bent.
However, some women have what is called a retroverted or tipped womb. This just means a womb that points backwards instead of forwards. It is real common. And if a female is retroverted, then her best chance of becoming pregnant is to make love face down in a kneeling position.
I hope this information is of some help to you.
Q I am 19 years old and my fiancee is 21. We have been together for three months, Doc.
The problem is that no matter how hard I thrust into her, she does not discharge. Why? This is real worrying.
My best friend also has a girlfriend (age 23), and he tells me that she has no difficulty at all in climaxing.
A Look, as I have mentioned before in this column, very young women generally don't find it too easy to orgasm. In most cases, 'thrusting hard' into the lady will not make her climax.
There are websites on the net which give sensible advice about how to make your partner reach orgasm. For instance, try the Christian site: intimacyinmarriage.com.
Very important, you need to find out about the clitoris and how to stimulate it. A guy cannot do this by simply thrusting and hoping for the best.
Q Some months, my menses last for only three days. Other times, they last for five to six days. Does this matter, Doctor? Also, is it true that if I have sex during the last few days of the period, and conceive a baby, the child will be abnormal?
A There is still a myth in parts of Jamaica, to the effect that if a baby is conceived during the period, he or she will be a 'red child'. I expect that that is the story you have heard. It is totally untrue.
Conceptions during the menses are uncommon, but when they occur, they do not result in abnormalities in the baby.
Now, your periods seem to vary quite a bit in length. This is not unusual and I do not think anything is wrong with you. But I think you should have a check-up from a doctor, especially to see if you are anaemic.
Q Doctor, I am a guy of 17, and I have been warned against promiscuity. Well, last weekend, I had sex with four girls (all of them beautiful).
Would you regard this as being promiscuous?
A I would regard it as real unwise behaviour. Having sex with three young ladies at such short intervals greatly increases the chances of getting a sexual infection, and also the chances of passing it on.
Also, what happens if you got one or more of these girls pregnant? And what happens if you got all four of them pregnant?
Please try to behave more wisely. It would be nice if you could find yourself one partner and remain faithful to her. Finally, are you using condoms? I really hope so.
Q I am female, age 22. When I was 16, I had sex with around seven guys in the course of a year. Since then, I have reformed, Doctor.
Could what I did when I was 16 give me cancer of the cervix, as I have heard?
A Cancer of the cervix is caused by various factors. The most important one is the Human Papillomavirus (HPV), which is acquired through sex with an infected person.
And obviously, the more guys you go with, the more likely you are to get HPV. However, I must stress that catching HPV does not necessarily mean that you will develop cancer of the cervix. In many cases, the woman's body simply 'wipes out' the virus.
I am not clear whether you ever had the anti-HPV vaccine, which was brought in a few years ago for girls age nine to 13. Probably you missed it through being just a little too old. But in any case, I think you would be well advised to go and do a Pap smear (i.e., cervical screening test). The doctor who does it for you will advise about how often you should have further testing.
Q Hi. I am 21 years old and engaged to a lovely young lady. We love each other.
Doc, my problem is that I have that premature ejaculation thing. Sometimes, she is pretty mad about this. I fear that it might break up our relationship.
However, I have found a trick that seems to help. If I masturbate around an half-hour before I meet her, then I know that everything will be OK, and that I will 'last' much longer with her.
Is it all right to do this?
A Well, this is a well-known 'dodge' for young men who have premature ejaculation (PE). It is not ideal, but it generally works. The principle of it is that the second orgasm of the evening usually takes a good deal longer.
But, really, it would be better if you saw a doctor and discussed possible treatments for PE. You will find these listed on medical websites. They include:
- Learning to use the 'squeeze' technique (Masters-Johnson method) with your partner.
- Getting a prescription for one of the medications which delay orgasm.
I wish you both well.
Q At 21, I have been on the Pill for two years. My mother says that I should now take a break for a year, but a nurse-friend says this is not necessary.
Who is right, Doc?
A The nurse is right. In the old days, when your mother was young, it was common for doctors to advise women to have regular breaks from the Pill.
But these days, that is not considered necessary - except, perhaps, in the case of women over 30.
So you can carry on.
Q Doc, I am a guy of 23 years. When I was real young (15 or 16), I had a sexual relationship with an older man.
Now I have just got engaged to be married. Should I tell my fiancÈe about this?
A I think that would be only fair to her. Also, I feel you should see a doctor and ask him or her whether you need any blood or urine tests - just in case you caught anything from that relationship.
- Email questions to Doc at email@example.com and read more in the 'Outlook Magazine' tomorrow.