Thu | Jul 19, 2018

Faith Counsellor | Should I abort?

Published:Saturday | August 20, 2016 | 12:00 AM

Dear Joan,

I am caught between a rock and a hard place and I honestly don't know what to do. I have been a Christian for some time and a member of the choir. I am also very active in youth fellowship and some sort of a role model for the others.

However, I have been living a secret life where I have been involved with an unsaved man and I mostly meet him out of my area.

Everything was going fine for a while, as he said he wanted to marry me. But more and more, I started to feel guilty about the relationship and the fact that I am living a double life. I confessed my sins to God and made the decision to live a life more befitting a Christian, the way I should have been doing all along. Trouble is, I just discovered that I am pregnant with his child.

He said he would stand by me, and even suggested we get married before the baby is born, but I don't want to rush into marriage just because I am pregnant. I am not even sure he is the one for me after all. The problem is, if I carry the child, everyone will know I was being hypocritical in church. If I abort it, no one will find out. I am torn, Joan, you don't know how judgemental some of my church brethren are and I can imagine the kind of gossiping I am going to be subjected to if I carry this child. Do you think God will forgive me if I abort this baby?

- T.N.

Dear T.N.,

I am asking, no I am begging you to think long and hard about this act you want to do. Do not abort your child. There is no telling that you will ever be able to have another and apart from that, you will also be exchanging one sin for the other.

God has already forgiven you for what you were doing being in church and sleeping with your boyfriend. Your unborn child is the result of that relationship, embrace it and come clean. Yes, some people will be judgemental, but at the end of the day, you are not living your life by their dictates.

There is not one person who is without sin, think about that and carry on.

I am happy your boyfriend is willing to stand by you. Now pick up the pieces, recommit your life and prayerfully seek God's plan for you. It may well be that the father of your unborn child could still be in your future don't make any hasty decisions.


I am struggling to give up a bad habit?

Dear Joan,

I am tired of praying about one sinful habit that I have and getting nowhere.

Every time that I think I have it under control, I fall into the same trap. I am so frustrated. I try my best to stay on top of things and when I think that I am at that place in my life where I am strong, I fall again. I sometimes think that one of these days, God is going to tell me that I am not serious about wanting to quit and not listen to my prayer anymore.

Please, how can I have the victory over this problem?

- H.J.

Dear H.J.,

You have not told me what your 'bad habit' is, but it doesn't matter the approach is the same you just have to realise that in your own strength you can do nothing.

In the short letter you have written, there are a lot of "I"s which tells me you are trying to do it in your own strength. Remember Christ strength is made perfect in your weakness. Philippians 4 vs 13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength". Embrace that and remember that you are not the only one who struggled to do what's right. Paul wrote about that in Romans 7 vs 24-25 when he described the struggles he had to do what is right with evil always being present. He ended up calling himself a wretched man. But he too realised that Jesus was the only way to enjoy a victory over sinful habit.

Jesus will never get tired of forgiving a sincere heart. I pray you get the strength to get the ultimate victory over your habit.


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