Sun | Oct 21, 2018

Faith Counsellor | I have no nature for my husband

Published:Saturday | September 24, 2016 | 12:00 AM

Dear Joan,

I have been married for more than 20 years, and in the early years, I was very excited about making love with my husband. I am now almost 50 and I find that in the last two years, making love is like a chore.

It's not that I love my husband any less - he is still my best friend, and I am very comfortable around him. I enjoy when we cuddle and share small talk, but the minute he shows an interest in things getting intimate, I feel turned off.

The truth is, no matter how I try, I just can't get myself into feeling anything. I don't know what's wrong with me. I am thinking about going to the doctor, but I am afraid as I don't want to hear that something is seriously wrong with me.

Sometimes just to satisfy him, I pretend that I am into it, but it hurts as I am not really moist the way I should be.

Joan, do you think something is wrong with me?


Dear K.M.,

I am almost certain you are one of the many women who are now going through menopause. One of its symptoms is low sexual desire.

Even if you are still having your period, it appears to me that premenopausal conditions are now beginning to set in.

Don't be afraid to have a talk with your doctor; he will explain everything to you.

It would also help if you have a talk with your husband too. Let him know exactly what's going on in your body, and then he will be able to ensure that you are properly stimulated before he attempts to take the lovemaking to its ultimate conclusion. If you are not moist enough, you could also talk to your doctor about appropriate lubricants you can use.

Keep the fire burning in your marriage.



Should a person be baptised without attending new convert classes?


Dear Joan,

My friend and I are having a major difference of opinion. She sees nothing wrong with a baptism service taking place and someone deciding at the spur of the moment that they want to be baptised. I, on the other hand, think something is seriously wrong with that.

How can they be baptised when they don't even know anything about the path they are embarking on? They have not attended any new convert classes and might not be aware of what it really means to be a Christian before making that public declaration.

If you ask me, I think they do that when they are more interested in adding to the membership count than anything else.

What do you think?


Dear L.J.,

It does not appear that you have been busy in your Bible or you would have realised that such baptisms are referred to as 'eunuch', which no doubt got its expression from the Ethiopian Eunuch who was baptised by Phillip.

It does not take new convert classes to prepare someone for baptism, all it takes is that person realising that they have been living in sin and want to turn from that path. If they acknowledge their sins and ask God for forgiveness, then God is faithful and do just that.

The thief on the cross was not even baptised when Jesus told him, "Today you will be with me in paradise".

Your comment is out of place about the Church caring more about membership than souls. You need to be a part of the solution instead of someone who stands by and criticises. That is what is wrong with the Church.


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