Mon | Oct 23, 2017

Doctor's Advice | Can my affair affect my pregnant wife?

Published:Saturday | October 1, 2016 | 12:00 AM

Q I am a young man, age 23, from Clarendon. My wife is pregnant, but I have been having sex with another lady.

Can this have an impact on my wife's pregnancy? Please, Doc, I need your help.

A I have changed one or two of your details so that you will not be recognised.

Well, I need hardly to tell you that it is unwise of you to go and have sex with that other woman. Why did you do that? Don't you love your wife?

If you want to keep this marriage together, you should cease this 'outside' relationship immediately.

Now, you ask me whether your affair could have an impact on your wife's pregnancy. I am assuming that you have continued to have sexual intercourse with your spouse while she is pregnant.

If so, then the big danger is that you might have picked up some germ from the other woman and then transmitted it into your wife's vagina. From there, it could have climbed up through the cervix and into the womb and harmed the baby.

The germs I am talking about are the ones which cause two common sexually transmitted infections, namely gonorrhoea and chlamydia. It is also possible for the same thing to happen with other 'bugs', such as streptococci, which a lot of folks have in their throats or noses. Those can be transmitted through oral sex. They can sometimes cause miscarriage or stillbirth.

All in all, I feel that your best move now would be to go to a doctor or clinic and ask them to test you for genital infections. If you have anything, they could treat you. But they would also need to treat your wife.

There would also be a strong case for using a condom whenever time you have sex with your spouse during the rest of the pregnancy.

Above all, please do not commit any more adultery. It is not fair to your poor pregnant wife. Finally, I hope she is going to see her own doctor or midwife shortly so that she can be checked, to find out if all is well with her and the baby.

Q I am a young woman who had the 'anti-HPV' jab some years ago in order to prevent myself from getting cancer of the cervix.

But, Doc, do I still have to have Pap smear tests?

A Yes. This is because this very good jab cannot protect you against all strains of the human papillomavirus. Therefore, it can't prevent all cases of cervical cancer.

So all women who have ever had sex should make sure that they continue having cervical screening tests throughout life.

Q Doc, I would like you to kindly help me on a topic related to pregnancy. My last period was on March 25. I am now pregnant, and quite far on.

I remember that I had intercourse on April 2 and 3, and again on April 4 and 5, with ejaculation into the vagina.

Then on April 6, I had some oral sex. I touched the guy's penis, with his pre-ejaculation liquid, but I didn't let it get into the vagina, I believe.

My concern is this. Did I get pregnant on the days I had sex?

A Again, I have slightly altered your details so that you cannot be recognised by other folks.

My guess is that you are hinting that, in fact, you had sex with two different guys (or possibly three) on these dates. Otherwise, I guess you would not be fretting about the actual date of conception.

All I can really tell you is that if the menses actually started on the 25th of the month, then the likeliest time for conception to occur would be round about the 4th to the 6th.

But this is not a 'cast-iron' rule, and you could perfectly well have got pregnant on the second or third.

I think you can forget about the oral sex. From what you say, it is most unlikely that this made you conceive.

When the baby has been born, if you are doubtful about its paternity, then you could try to arrange some DNA testing. That would certainly tell you who the babyfather is. Good luck!

Q Doc, I love my girlfriend. Whenever I have sex with her, I use a condom, so she has no need to go on the Pill.

But the last few time we have been to bed together, I noticed that she seemed to have a couple of little threads which are coming down into the vagina. They jabbed me slightly.

What is going on?

A I am sorry to tell you that I feel it is likely that your girlfriend has been fitted with an IUD - that is a contraceptive coil.

This strongly suggests that she may be having sex with someone else. I hope I am wrong. But you need to sit down calmly with her and discuss these issues together.

Q I am female, age 16, and I must admit that I have had sex quite a few times. Maybe I should take more care of myself.

But, Doc, my mother is trying to force me to take that contraceptive jab. She says I must go on the Shot, and she has told me that she will take me to the doctor and insist that I have it, but I do not want to do this. Is she entitled to make me do it, against my will?

A No, she isn't. I understand how your mother feels, and it is obvious that she wants to protect you against pregnancy.

But no one (not even your mom) is entitled to force you into having a jab. I do not believe that any doctor would make you have the injection against your will. In fact, legally, that would be an assault against you.

You say that you have had sex quite a few times. I don't have to tell you that this is extremely unwise for a young woman of 16! Indeed, it is fortunate that you haven't got pregnant already.

One positive note is that you have realised that you should take more care of yourself. That is vitally important. You should respect your body and not expose it to the risks of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections. I do wonder if (like many young women) you have poor self-esteem and, because of this, you do not value your body highly enough.

Frankly, I think you should give up having sex for the next few years. But if you find that difficult, then I beg you to use contraception.

Why not go along with your mom to the doctor's office? It may well be that you could agree on some form of contraception that would keep you safe and also ease your poor mother's fears. I wish you well.

Q How safe is it to 'pull out' before I ejaculate, Doc?

A Not very. It's better than nothing, but risky. It would be best if you and your partner used something more reliable, like the condom or the Pill.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the 'Outlook Magazine' tomorrow.