Wed | Aug 15, 2018

When your family cannot embrace your dream

Published:Saturday | October 1, 2016 | 12:00 AMCecelia Campbell Livingston

Visions that can change the world trapped inside an ordinary girl

She looks just like me too afraid to dream out loud

And though it's simple your idea, it won't make sense to everybody

You need courage now If you're gonna persevere

To fulfil divine purpose, you gotta answer when you're called

So don't be afraid to face the world against all odds

- Never Give Up, Yolanda Adams

There are times when parents want to live the dreams they missed out on through their children. Unfortunately, when they have a career stuck in their heads on the path they want their children to take, it can be a battle for that child to break through and pursue the dream that is contrary to that of their parents.

Like Joseph in the Bible, sharing your dreams can turn out to be a nightmare and for some, it die a slow death.

Outside of the parental relationship, dreams can be stifled even when it is shared with friends or even your own church families.

Fuelled with a passion to accomplish something worthwhile - to you that is - and excitedly sharing, expecting encouragement, one could find him or herself receiving negativity or sheer discouragement.

If the person is not strong, bitterness and doubt begins to creep in and before you know it, that passion and dream is a distant memory on the horizon.

Family and Religion reached out to Pastor Joan Gumbs of How Ya Livin' Now Deliverance Outreach Ministry who stressed that the key to living one's dream is to remain committed.

"Most people fail to reach their dreams, not for lack of ability, but for lack of commitment. By committing to your dream, you're telling yourself no matter what, you will not give up on your dream. You believe you can achieve it, and no matter what, or how long it takes, you are committed to seeing it through," she said.

For her, distractions such as discouragement, opposition, whether from family or friends should not deter the person chasing their dreams or from being motivated.

"You should visualise your dream. If you are not good at visualising, then find tangible representations of your dreams and place them where you can see them every day. Constantly looking at your dreams will keep you motivated," she said.

Regarding family members who try to enforce their own goals on their children, ignoring their child/children dreams, Gumbs said it is even more important for that child to be persistent.

"When they are not doing that, it means you need to keep your dreams to yourself, as it relates to your family. Many family members are dream-killers. And you can't really blame them because it's not their dream. However, sometimes you have to reach without the support of others," she said.

In doing this, Gumbs said it will be very important to shut out the noise from negative people as internal fears and self-doubts could get a 'feeding tree'.

"Don't continuously second-guess yourself. It's okay to occasionally have doubts, especially if the dream is really big. But keep a positive attitude. At the same time, your goals should be attainable," she shared.

Gumbs also shared some 'must dos' in accomplishing one's dreams: cultivating good habits which will help in achieving goals, itemising your goals, strategise how to accomplish them and most importantly setting achievable goals.

While encouraging dream chasers to be steadfast in their pursuits, Gumbs said there are some things they should never lose sight of and that's their health, family and friends.

"That is, the ones who are supportive. Don't have too many goals to reach at once. Many persons have died without realising their dreams because they had too many, which became draining, and eventually unattainable," she said.

According to Gumbs, getting to 'the mountaintop' will not be an easy task as it will cost personal sacrifices.

"Be prepared to lose sleep, your comfort, your family, your friends, your time, and just about anything or anyone that will distract you from pursuing your dreams. You may have family members who resent you giving up time with them to pursue your dreams. You may have friends who resent you for not going to the party with them because you have to stay home and study. Whatever goals you set for yourself is worth fighting for. So, don't let anything or anyone stand in the way of you achieving your goals," she said.