Doctor's Advice | She won't have sex without a condom
Q. Hey, doc. I love my girlfriend a lot. But she won’t have sex with me unless I use a condom.
Now I have never tried one of these devices, and I don’t know much about them.
So can you please tell me two things:
- Is it true that they take away all the nice feelings, so that there is no sensation?
- How do you use them? I have no idea at all!
A. Well, may I say that I think your girlfriend is quite right in insisting that you use a condom. When you are a teenager, it is real easy to get pregnant! So if you are going to have sex, it’s essential to use a safe method of contraception – like the condom.
Now let me answer your first question. Does the condom ‘take away all feelings?’ No, it doesn’t – though it SLIGHTLY diminishes sensation for the guy. Most men don’t think that this VERY slight loss of ‘skin sensation’ is worth fretting about.
Does the condom change the sensations for the female? Some women say ‘No,’ while others say ‘Slightly.’ I am real doubtful whether the average girl could tell whether her partner was wearing a condom or not.
To avoid diminished sensation, you should buy the THINNEST type of condom which you can find. If you go on the net, you will find that there are a lot of brands which are described as ‘extra thin’ or ‘ultra thin'.
Now to your second question, which was ‘How do you use them?’ Many young people don’t really understand this. So let me explain.
Open the packet which contains the condom. Take it out CAREFULLY, making sure you do not tear it.
DON’T blow it up in order to ‘test’ it! A lot of young guys think that this is what you should do. But it has already been tested at the factory. And blowing it up might break it.
Next, place it on the tip of your erect penis. If you are NOT yet erect, don’t try to put it on – wait till an erection returns.
Then, unroll the condom carefully over the erect penis. A lot of guys start losing their stiffness at this point. The remedy for this is to let the young lady roll the condom onto you. This usually results in satisfactory stiffness, so that the condom will go on. Roll it right down till it reaches the base of your organ.
Now you are ready to go ahead and have intercourse. Please do NOT do this before you get the condom on! ‘Riding bareback’ could get your partner pregnant.
Finally, when you have climaxed you should ‘pull out’ of the lady’s body, while holding the condom firmly on your penis, using your finger and thumb. Avoid any spillage!
There is often an instruction leaflet with a pack of condoms. Read it carefully before you start.
Q. Help me, doc! Am I pregnant?
A month back, I was given the contraceptive shot. And three weeks ago, I had a lot of sex with my boyfriend. Since then, I have not seen my menses.
Does this mean I have conceived?
A. Once a woman has started on the jab (or shot), it is exceedingly unlikely that she will get pregnant – no matter how much sex she has.
If you wish, you could do a pregnancy test, but my forecast is that it will be negative.
What you probably have not realised is that one of the commonest side effects of the shot is ABSENT PERIODS. A very high proportion (around 40 per cent) of young women who are given the jab will either get irregular bleeding – or no menses at all. This may last for several months.
Q. My girlfriend says she loves me. But she won’t have sex with me, doc!
Don’t you think that is unfair of her?
A. No, not at all. It is her body, and she has the right to decide what she does with it.
In the fullness of time, she might decide to have sex with you. Or she might not …
Q. I am a young woman who has tried to live a pure and decent life. But a year ago, I did have a ‘one night stand’ with a guy who had come off a cruise ship.
Now I have got a vaginal discharge. And the doctor is saying that I have new kind of VD, which she called something like ‘Mike O’Plasma.’
Is this real serious, doc?
A. What the doctor is talking about is a bug called ‘Mycoplasma, or ‘Mycoplasma genitalium.’
It has been around for at least 30 years, but has only recently turned up in Jamaica.
It is a sexually-transmitted bacterium, but is NOT life-threatening. Nevertheless, you MUST get rid of it, because it can have serious long-term consequences, like sterility and pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). Happily, it can be cleared out of your body by treatment with the right antibiotic – such as azithromycin. I am sure your doc will give the correct treatment.
As with all sexual infections, please do not have sex till you have been pronounced ‘cured’.
Q. s there any way in which rectal sex could lead to pregnancy, Doc?
A. That is almost impossible – unless by some chance the seminal fluid ran across the girl’s skin and entered her vagina. But that is very unlikely.
I must add that I really do not recommend rectal intercourse for younger people, because of the fact that it may damage the young woman’s pelvic muscles.
Q. Doctor, I am female, aged 21, and I feel I would like to get married soon. I have two boyfriends and I like both of them.
But the difference between them is that I only have orgasms with one of them! The other one just don’t seem to turn me on at all.
Do you think that I should choose to marry the one who can give me orgasms?
A. don’t think you should marry either of them! The idea that you should pick a husband on the basis of which guy gives you orgasms seems crazy to me.
You are only 21 and you have plenty of time in which to pick a husband. You should really pick someone whom you love, and who you want to spend your life with. Why not look around a bit more? You will eventually find someone who would make a good husband.
Finally, as I have said before in this column, I do not think it is a good idea to be ‘running’ two boyfriends. This can often lead to trouble.
Q. have soreness and itchiness of the penis, particularly under the foreskin, Doc. Is this some kind of VD? I lead a pretty active sex life.
A. No, this is unlikely to be a sexually-transmitted disease (STD). It’s probable that you’ve just got a fungus infection of the skin – similar to yeast. Please see a doc and get yourself checked out.
Alternatively, go to a pharmacy, buy yourself a tube of anti-fungal cream – and apply it to your penis three times a day for the next weeks.
That should clear it up. Please do not have sex with anybody until the soreness and itchiness have totally gone.