Doctor's Advice | Will sex save my boyfriend?
Q Doc, I am only 17, and I do not know much about boys, or about sex. I have a boyfriend who I met a month ago. We just kiss and cuddle.
What I need to know is this. Is what he tells me true? He says that if a guy of his age - 17 - doesn't get sex, he will become ill.
I asked him what this illness would be, and he said that he would get a fever, become 'headachy' and exhausted, and get pain in his testicles. He says his muscles would develop weakness, and he would get jaundice and bellyache. Therefore, he wants me to give him sex, so that he will not become sick.
Should I believe him, Doc?
A No. You should not believe him. This is just one of the many tales which guys have made up over the years in order to try and persuade girls to go to bed with them.
It is just possible that your boyfriend believes his own foolish story, but it is much more likely that he has been told by other young guys that it is a good idea to tell girls that one must have sex, in order to avoid illness.
What are the facts? Does lack of sex really give guys any of the various health problems which he has told you about?
The answer is no - though there is just a tiny grain of truth in one aspect of what he has said to you. When young men get real excited sexually, but then do not discharge, they sometimes get a little bit of pain in the testicles. This is not too bad, and it does not last very long. Generally, the pain goes away if they masturbate. Some folks call this ache 'the gravels'.
I don't think you should have sex with this guy, simply because of the fact that he might possibly get the gravels!
Finally, you should face the fact that this young man has been telling you real bad untruths. So do you really want to continue with him as a boyfriend?
Q Hello, Doc, I am male, aged 20. I think that one of my testicles has suddenly got much bigger than the other.
Can I safely ignore this?
A No. You should have your testicles examined by a doc within the next week.
If she thinks this could be anything serious, she will probably order an ultrasound scan. Please don't delay!
Q I am in love with a guy that I met at 'Uni'. However, he currently lives with his baby-mother with whom he has one child. He assures me they are separated.
He told me that they are only living together for financial reasons and that he will need a year to get his finances sorted out, so he wants me to give him 12 months.
Should I believe him?
A No. Can I assure you that the world is full of guys who say that they are 'separated' from their wives or partners, but the wife or partner doesn't know that she is separated!
Please don't take any more nonsense from this guy. He is happily living with one woman (his babymother) and, presumably, having sex with another (i. e. you). This is a very nice existence for him, but it is time to bring it to an end.
My advice is to tell him goodbye and have nothing more to do with him. Please be firm.
Q I am a male who suffers from a tight foreskin when erect. In recent weeks, it has been increasingly difficult to pull the skin back.
I saw a urologist who recommends that I have the frenulum removed. But wouldn't this reduce a lot of the sensitivity during sex?
A I doubt it. For the benefit of other readers, I should explain that the 'frenulum'is the little 'string' of tissue on the underside of the penis.
Removing it or reshaping it is certainly one approach to the problem of tight foreskin - phimosis. And you clearly need to have something done to fix this problem; otherwise your sex life is not going to be too great in the future.
Look, your urologist probably knows more about this problem than any other doctor in the Caribbean area, so I think your best move would be to accept the expert advice which you have been given. Good luck.
Q I am 19 and my fiancÈ is always pestering me for oral sex, Doc.
Should I give in? To be honest, I really dislike the feeling that I get when a guy discharges in my mouth, and I find the taste of sperms absolutely disgusting!
A No woman should have to do sexual activities which she finds unpleasant, so just tell your fiancÈ 'no way'.
I do notice that what you really dislike is what occurs when he wants to go as far as discharging in your mouth. The fact is that many young guys are keen on this particular action. Some women do not mind it, but others find it rather revolting!
I suppose it is just possible that the two of you could find a compromise. Do you think you could give him the sort of 'milder' oral sex in which you just kiss him - rather than allowing penetration and orgasm?
If you can't agree on this matter, maybe you will have to bring an end to your engagement.
Q Although I am a guy of 20, I have never had sex with a woman. To be honest, I feel rather scared by the idea, Doc.
Don't get me wrong. I really like girls and would love to get married one day, but when I was young, I heard a story which said that a guy could get stuck inside a woman's vagina. In other words, he would not be able to get out afterwards!
Is this true, Doc? Could such an awful thing happen?
A Well, this is a story which has been around for at least 100 years. For generations, some young
fellows have told their friends tales about a penis getting 'jammed' inside the vagina. This condition has even got a medical name, which is 'penis captivus'.
To be frank, I am very doubtful if the condition really exists. A review which was published in the British Medical Journal in 1979 suggested that reports of 'penis captivus' were all hoaxes and myths fuelled by unsubstantiated rumours. However, an elderly doctor then wrote in to the journal, claiming that he had seen such a case in 1947.
I suppose the jury is still out. I am very much aware of the fact that in a long career, I have never seen a case of a man being stuck inside a woman.
As far as you are concerned, I think you should bear in mind that if it exists, this condition must be incredibly rare. It is unlikely that it will ever happen to you.
Q Doc, I am about to start taking the Pill, but will I be protected during the one week of the month when I am not taking it?
A Yes. If you take the Pill as prescribed, it will prevent you ovulating all month. Therefore, you cannot get pregnant.
- Email questions to Doc at firstname.lastname@example.org, and read more in the 'Outlook Magazine' tomorrow.