Doctor's Advice | His two-timing girlfriend
Q Doc, I am a guy with a terrible problem. You see, I have a girlfriend and I thought I loved her. She said that she loved me.
Last Tuesday night, I went round to see her and we had sex (unprotected). She did not seem to enjoy it much.
Afterwards, we had a fight and she started calling me names. Then to my amazement, she told me that half an hour before I arrived, she had had sex with my best friend!
I asked her whether he had worn a condom, and she told me 'no'.
Doc, I was real upset and angry. I could not understand how my girlfriend could have cheated on me with my best friend. He was a guy who I thought I could trust.
Then a thought struck me. I suddenly realised that maybe my organ had come into contact with his sperm fluid inside her! I was horrified by this idea, and in fact I actually went outside and threw up.
So could you please tell me, Doctor. Is there any chance that I might have accidentally touched his man-fluid? And will it do me any serious harm?
A Well, this sounds like a really wild Tuesday night. A lot of guys do get very upset at the thought that they might have touched someone else's seminal fluid.
However, there is absolutely no way that this fluid could have done you any harm unless your friend has a sexually-transmitted infection (STI). If he has, then there is a high chance that you have now got it too.
Therefore, you should keep a careful look-out for the common signs of sexual infection in guys, which are:
- Discharge from the penis,
- Pain in passing urine;
- Unexplained sores or lumps on or around the genitals.
There are other possible symptoms of STIs. So if you have the slightest doubt, please go and see a doctor to have an examination and tests.
Very importantly, if by chance your friend had an STI, then of course your girlfriend would now have it, too, and she also would need an examination and tests.
Looking at the relationship 'picture,' I feel that you should regard things as over between you and your girlfriend. I have no idea why she went to bed with your friend, not long before you got there. But frankly, I think that you should now ditch her.
Also, I cannot see that there is any future to the friendship between you and your pal. A good friend does NOT seduce his best buddy's partner - especially half an hour before he is due to come around!
Q I am a sexually active female, Doc. Would that 'vaginal ring' thing keep me safe?
A Well, it won't keep you safe from sexually transmitted infections, but it will keep you from getting pregnant - if you use it sensibly. It is a little circlet of transparent plastic, which contains two hormones similar to those of the Pill.
You put it inside you, in the uppermost part of your vagina, and keep it there for three weeks. At the end of that time, you take it out and dispose of it. You then have what is called a 'ring-free interval' of one week. During that week, you should have your menses.
At the end of the 'ring-free week', you put in a fresh ring. This, too, is kept inside you for three weeks. By the way, it is quite comfortable, and mostly, you won't be aware of it.
Your doctor or nurse will tell you about possible side effects. The most important thing is that - like the Pill - the ring can occasionally cause thrombosis (clotting). So you shouldn't use it if you are a heavy smoker or have other factors that might make you more liable to clots.
Finally, you may wonder if the vaginal ring can interfere with sex. Usually, it doesn't, though occasionally, it might get dislodged during rigorous intercourse.
Q My fiancee and I had sex in a swimming pool last Sunday, Doc. Will this harm either of us?
A No, not at all. You can quit fretting.
Q I am female, age 21, living in St Andrew. I have had a boyfriend for about a year and I thought maybe we would get married one day.
But now I have found out that he has a girl in Westmoreland, and another in Portland. He sees them both regularly. Doc, do you think he really loves me?
A He is obviously a much-travelled guy. Sorry to tell you this, but I feel it is most unlikely that he really loves you. A man who loves a woman deeply and sincerely does not have other ladies waiting for him at opposite ends of the island.
I suggest you tell him goodbye and start thinking about looking for a more faithful lover one day.
Q Please, answer an embarrassing question. How often should a young guy clean under his foreskin, Doc?
A Washing once per day with soap and water (preferably warm) should be adequate.
Q Doctor, I am a 19-year-old female and have just had an affaire with an older guy - a tourist. It was really exciting while it lasted, but he has now gone home permanently.
One thing is concerning me, Doc. He used a vibrator on me. He knew exactly what to do with it and it made me discharge most times.
But as it is an artificial thing, could it have done me any harm?
A No, it couldn't - provided that he kept it CLEAN, and was not using it on any other woman. With these devices, side effects are really rare.
Q I am a guy who has been having sex for about two years, but I always orgasm too soon, Doc.
A man I meet in a bar has offered me some 'last-longer' tablets. He says they are great. Should I buy them from him?
A No. You don't know what they contain, and there could be anything in them.
You clearly have some degree of 'premature ejaculation'. You can read more about this on the Internet, but beware of websites that want to sell you expensive 'cures'.
I suggest you go to any good doctor here in Jamaica and talk to him about your problem. After a full discussion, he might prescribe a 'last-longer' pill, such as one of the anti-depressants Prozac or Anafranil. You take one around an hour before you have sex, and its effect is to delay your climax.
However, pills are just a short-term solution. Ideally, you need some special therapy or counselling to help you get better control of your orgasms. Good luck.
Q Can lesbianism spread sex infections, Doc?
A Sexually transmitted infections do occur in lesbians, but they are not all that common.
Q Should I 'douche' inside my vagina, as my aunt has hinted to me?
A No. Do not do this. Douching (squirting water or soapy solutions into the vagina) used to be common in Jamaica. But nowadays, it is not approved by gynaecologists because it is liable to do more harm than good.
- Email questions to Doc at firstname.lastname@example.org, and read more in the 'Outlook Magazine' tomorrow.