Roseanne Reid — From pain to purpose
Marketer, Roseanne Reid, has chronicled her life's struggle in a book entitled, 'From Pain to Purpose'.
Her life has not been an easy one. She is a survivor of domestic child abuse. She grew up in a Christian home where she said there was no love; was locked in a dark cupboard between the ages of 6 and 14 years old; was betrayed by her childhood best friend; suffered two near-death experiences; had Valium pills being forced down her throat by a father who refused to believe the doctor's prognosis that she was stable mentally; and a mild nervous breakdown at 17. These she said, were just some of the challenges she had to overcome.
In a one-on-one with Family & Religion, Reid opened up about her life's journey and finding her way back to the Lord.
Reid, who accepted Christ as her personal Saviour at age 14, said the catalyst was being betrayed by her childhood best friend.
"She had betrayed me yet again and it hurt too much. I decided that was it. I broke off my friendship with her and decided to turn to Christ, because I did not see any other solution," she shared.
Added to that pain of betrayal were the struggles she was experiencing in what she described as a dysfunctional family where she had to cope with the physical and emotional abuse she suffered regularly.
Reid remembers going on her knees, asking Christ to accept her and feeling a weight being lifted off her shoulders and utter peace.
However, if she thought that new journey would have ended her problems she was wrong!
She said between the ages of 14 and 23, she experienced even more heart-rending life challenges, some of those details she has expanded on her book available at Kingston Bookshop and on Amazon.
'That would throw anyone off course and I backslided, searching again for solace. Some of my challenges at the time were dealing with the issue of being spiritually gifted, but going to a church that did not believe in the manifestation of the gifts of the spirit; a home that did not have love, positivity, nurturing and support," she said.
At the time she said she also faced a church society that facilitated division, deceit and lies, because so much was done in secrecy and one was taught to follow the leader whether he was doing good or bad.
"I remembered a church leader scorning me publicly. I was shocked at his callousness, especially as he was someone whom my parents said I must obey because he is in authority of the church," she recalled.
In hindsight, Reid said she has learnt there will always be challenges and change and one must learn to embrace them and navigate them to stay on the true path of your divine purpose call.
Reid has experienced God's hand in her lifetime and time again, but for her one such moment that stands out is how she ended up leaving her past church and being a member of the one she is at now.
She recalled attending the Church of God Seventh Day Faithful Youth Challengers (FYC) Youth Congress in December 2007. The Challenger's Mass Choir (CMC) was ministering in purple and yellow choir gowns and she remembered the entire church on their feet worshipping.
She described it as "heaven had come down and angels were among the people."
"I sat in awe because I recognised that I had dreamed this before. So, I asked my fiance if this was the gown that they always wore, because I figured maybe I had seen it on TV or something. He replied that those gowns were brand new," shared Reid, adding that three years prior to that she had a dream she was worshipping and arrayed in a gown just like it.
It was then she questioned God on what her dream meant and got the revelation she should attend that church.
"I remembered saying, 'God you must be mad, in a Saturday church? You have to be crazy'!"
She didn't immediately obeyed, but it came a time when she could not hold out any more as the conviction proved too great. She got baptised in the Church of God Seventh Day on January 26, 2008.
Eventually marrying her fiance, it was hard to put her childhood abuse behind her and allowing herself to trust and love him the way she should.
"It was a process that I did not expect to have to deal with which surfaced a couple of times in our marriage before I understood how to deal with it and what I needed to do. I thought that because I had found love that it would easily just wipe away the pain, memories and negativity," she said.
She soon realised the emotional scars could only be wiped away by the blood of Jesus.
It was a struggle she said, to tell her husband she loved him as she just wasn't accustomed expressing her emotions, and if he did anything which even slightly reminded her of her father's behaviour, she would flare up and get angry.
Now celebrating nine years of marriage she is thankful that her husband was gentle with her and understood where she was coming from.
"I would say God used my husband's love for me to heal some of the wounds and scars from my earlier abuse," she said.
Born and raised in the Parish of St. Andrew, she is a past student of the Balmoral Educational Institute. Reid is now an active member in the women's and youth ministries at her church.
Today, she can now look back and celebrate her life as a purpose driven woman of God, wife, mother and entrepreneur.