Mon | Aug 21, 2017

Stop ‘locking shop’ on your husbands!

Published:Saturday | May 6, 2017 | 5:00 AMCecelia Campbell Livingston

Women have a tendency to 'lock shop' (withhold lovemaking) when they are upset with their spouse or when they want to engage in a power struggle. Many do it vindictively with the intention to spite their husbands, knowing that they desire to satisfy their needs.

Family and Religion reached out to the Reverend Darren McKoy, national youth director, Church of God in Jamaica, regarding this practice.

The minister said women, especially those who call themselves Christians, must remember their responsibilities to their spouses - one of them being to satisfy them sexually.

"To contemplate such an action is to literally consider denying your husband of not just pleasure, but also the love that you are expected to give. How can you declare that you love your husband yet withhold such an integral part of the relationship, which, the Bible says, makes you 'one flesh'?" asked McKoy.

For women who seek excuses to engage in this practice, McKoy said it is never OK to 'lock shop'.

The Daniel fast, which is normally embarked on in January and lasts for 21 days, sees participants refraining from having sex during that period. For McKoy, this should only be done with the husband's agreement. In that case, it is not 'locking shop' and it should not be for too long.

"As a matter of fact, the Apostle Paul was very deliberate in addressing the issue of sex and fasting to the Corinthian church. He clearly outlines in 1 Corinthian 7:5 that if you are going on a fast and you choose to abstain from sex, two things must be considered," he shared, pointing out that as well as mutual agreement, the fast must not last too long.

 

AVOID TEMPTATION

 

"The enemy will tempt you, and it's important to avoid this temptation. As a matter of fact, what I hear Paul saying is that if you don't have to deny yourself of sex, then don't. He puts it high on the list of obligations for married couples, even as high as the spiritual significance of fasting," said McKoy.

Regarding the deliberate attempt by women, McKoy said her action proves that she is justifying the idea that it's her body and she can choose to do with it as she pleases.

"Once you are married, your body belongs to your husband and your husband's body belongs to you. Locking shop would be dictating when, where, and how your body can be used. It would now give way for so many other problems to arise in the marriage," he said.

In fact, McKoy said withholding sex from your husband is a sin, as once you do that, you are disobeying God and putting a stumbling block in the way of your husband.

"Denying your husband of sex is a big stumbling block," he said.

For McKoy, wives should not be naive enough to think that just because their husbands may be Christians, they won't be tempted to stray.

"The reality is one of the major consequences is that if you lock shop, there may be another shop around the corner that will be willing to give him the goods he needs. You must remember that your spouse is first and foremost, a human being who God has wired with sexual desires," he said.

Stressing that 'locking shop' is not supposed to be a licence to cheat as the husband, too, should have self-control, he said the woman should exercise wisdom and not put her husband in that position.

familyandreligion@gleanerjm.com