Doctor’s Advice | What do these two guys want?
Q Hello, Doc. What do boys mean by 'roasting a girl'?
I am a female in my late teens and I suppose you could say that I have had a sort of 'disturbed' childhood. Anyway, I must admit that following this, I have done some real foolish things where sex is concerned.
I lost my virginity at 15 and I have had five partners since then. I am, however, trying to 'calm down' now! By good fortune, I have never gotten pregnant. I have only had sex once this year.
I have met two really nice boys and I hope I might have a future with them. I have not had full sex with them yet, but they are suggesting that I should try something called 'roasting' with them. They say it would be a great experience for me, Doc.
I am not so sure because I do not know what 'roasting' is, Doc.
A First things first, you cannot have a 'future' with two guys. Humanity just does not work like that! You need to think about the possibilities of having a future with just one guy.
Now, I congratulate you on trying to turn your life around after what has clearly been a difficult upbringing. Alas! Many girls who have had 'difficult' childhoods respond by being promiscuous sexually. But it is good to see that recently, you have tried to make your sex life much more sensible and less dangerous.
However, I must beg you to have nothing whatsoever to do with 'roasting'. This is a foolish practice, quite popular with highly sexed young men. For some reason, in certain countries, it is associated with professional footballers.
All it means is that two guys have sex with a girl at the same time, one at each end of her body. So one male is in the vagina and one in the mouth. This is not usually a very pleasant experience for young women, so forget what these guys told you about giving you a good time. The pleasure will be very largely for them, not you!
Most importantly, 'roasting' is usually a pretty demeaning experience for a female, so it will not improve your self-esteem. Indeed, my guess is that you may feel awful about yourself afterwards.
Really, I think it would be best if you told these guys goodbye. Try and concentrate on looking after your body and your mind. Do not rush into sex with anybody and take great care to ensure that you don't get pregnant before you are ready to do so.
Q Is there such a thing as a 'foreskin transplant', as I have heard? I believe it can be done by using the skin of the shaft of the penis.
I am still mad at my parents for getting me circumcised as a baby. Why did they have to cut my foreskin off? I am sure this is harming me sexually, Doc.
A I don't think you should be too mad at your mom and dad. They may possibly have had good reasons for getting you circumcised when you were small, for example, if there was a blockage of urine.
Quite a few guys are angry about being circumcised, particularly in America, where there is actually a national organisation for them. They have exercised their influence to try and fix up 'transplants' which will give guys replacement foreskins. But this is NOT a straightforward process. Please note the following points:
- First, it is almost impossible to transplant skin from lower down the shaft of the penis to make a new foreskin. There would be a great danger of damaging the penis itself.
- Second, it would be incredibly difficult to transplant skin taken from anybody else.
- Third, there is the small possibility of transplanting a little skin from somewhere else on your own body, like your arm.
US surgeons have had a little success with this technique, though it is difficult to tell what the point of it is. The 'new' piece of skin will not have any erotic nerve endings, so it is unlikely that you could get any pleasure from it.
However, there are surgical techniques in which the skin of the penis is stretched in order to give something of the appearance of a foreskin. You could talk to a plastic surgeon about that. But I think you (and presumably your partner) should try and make your sex lives successful without resorting to any dramatic surgery.
Q Due to some confusion, I accidentally took the Pill this week although I am already on the contraceptive Jab (the Shot). Will I come to any harm, Doc?
A You will be OK. I would not recommend taking two lots of hormones at once, but, in fact, doctors do sometimes give patients the Pill as well as the Shot in order to regulate very bad periods. But please try not to do this again.
Q I would like to try that male contraceptive that you just rub into your skin. Could I get it in Jamaica?
A No, sorry. This contraceptive skin gel is being researched in California and in China. I'm afraid it has a long way to go yet. Maybe you might be able to get it in five years.
Q Doc, my menses are a week overdue. Surely, I couldn't be pregnant, could I?
I had sex with a boy on the very last day of my period. Help!
A Yes, I'm afraid you could be pregnant. Some women are fertile at the very end of the menses. You should carry out a pregnancy test right away.
Q Is it true that intensive athletic training can make a girl lose her menses, Doc?
A Yes, though it has to be really intensive training, like for distance events. A number of international distance runners do lose their periods.
Q As a guy, I am a in a terrible situation, Doc. I must admit that I have been 'sleeping around' a little this year.
Now, two girls have contacted me to say that they are pregnant by me. What can I do, Doctor?
A Well, I am afraid that you can't do anything to make these problems go away. The best I can suggest is that you ask both young ladies to do tests to be absolutely sure that they are pregnant.
I bet you wish you had used condoms.
Q Could I get pregnant if I just kept a tampon in whenever I am out with a guy?
A Yes! Though girls sometimes try this, it is a pretty hopeless method of contraception.
Q Three weeks ago, I had 'limited' sex with a girl in Port Morant, Doc. To be honest, I only got it in for around 30 seconds. Could this short period have been enough to give me a venereal disease?
I have no discharge, but I do feel a kind of irritation in the urine pipe and it pains me slightly to pass water.
A Even 'putting it in' for a few seconds could give you a sexually transmitted infection.
Admittedly, the longer you keep your penis in an infected vagina, the more likely you are to get it.
Your story suggests that you do probably have inflammation of the urethra (that is, urethris), so you must go and get tests.
- Email questions to Doc at firstname.lastname@example.org, and read more in the 'Outlook Magazine' tomorrow.