Doctor's Advice | Dangerous one-night stands?
Q I am 18 and am embarking on my career as a female university student. From my studies in biology, I do know that there are dangers in having promiscuous sexual intercourse. However, I am a highly sexed female, so I am wondering if I would be reasonably safe in having an occasional affair during my university career? I have access to emergency contraception. Surely, if I had a one-night stand maybe once a term, that wouldn't be too dangerous? Would it be?
A Well, this would mean having sex with around nine men in a three-year course. That seems to me like a very considerable risk.
You, obviously, think that the emergency contraceptive will protect you, but please remember that it does not always work.
Also, if you have all these one-night stands, you could be exposing yourself to any of the following problems:
- gonorrhoea and other sexually transmitted infections;
- The HPV virus - which causes cancer of the cervix.
If you do go ahead with this one-man-a-term plan, then I strongly urge you to, at least, use condoms whenever you have sex. That will cut down the risk a lot.
But have you considered that instead of keeping to this one-guy-a-term idea, you might actually find one good and caring male with whom you might even fall in love? Generally, a long-term relationship is a lot safer than having one-night stands.
Q I am a teenage guy. This week, I have been terrified to find that I have blood in my sperm. I am sure this is serious. Could it be cancer, Doc?
A Cancer is unlikely at your age. However, blood in the seminal fluid is a symptom that must not be ignored.
It could just be due to a broken blood vessel - that is, a little tube which carries the blood, but it could be caused from something more serious, like an infection in the region of the testicle.
So please go to a doctor this week and let him check out your sexual equipment. Take a specimen of your urine with you for testing. The doctor may also want to do a blood test and, maybe, a scan of your testicles.
Try not to be too scared. The odds are that everything will be OK.
Q Is it possible for women to be allergic to condoms? I have heard that this sometimes happens in men. Every time my fiancÈ uses one, I become distressingly sore and itchy for several days. There is no discharge, so I don't think it could be thrush.
A You are probably right, though it would be worth having a test for thrush (or yeast, as many women call it).
Yes, it is perfectly possible for women to be allergic to rubber condoms, so you and your fiancÈ should buy yourselves a low-allergy brand. These are widely advertised on the Internet.
An alternative would be for you to use the female condom, which is not made of rubber and, therefore, is unlikely to cause allergies.
Q I am male student, age 22, and I am in a relationship with a much older woman. She has taught me a lot, but one thing puzzles me, Doc. She says that it is necessary to stimulate the clitoris in order to cause female orgasm. Is that really true?
A Basically, yes. A small number of women can reach orgasm in other ways, for instance, by having their nipples stimulated. But the great majority of females do, indeed, need clitoral friction if they are going to climax.
Regrettably, a lot of males still do not know this simple fact, and that is the cause of a great deal of unhappiness and frustration.
Q Several of the girls in my group at college have real heavy menses. We would like to know what is the best treatment for that.
A Well, a young woman who has heavy periods should always see a doctor to find out if there is any particular reason why the bleeding is so great. She may also need a blood test to find out if the loss of blood has made her anaemic.
But once she has been checked out by the doctor, the treatments, which are widely used in order to reduce period flow, are as follows:
- the Pill;
- tranexamic acid tablets;
- mefenamic acid tablets;
- etamsylate tablets;
- Sometimes Mirena - the hormone-loaded 'coil'.
Each of you should discuss your menstrual problems with your own doctor and then come to a decision about what treatment you want to try.
Q My friends are encouraging me to smoke. They say that if I just keep it to five cigarettes a day, that could not possibly harm my health. Are they right?
A No. Unfortunately, even five cigarettes a day can increase your chances of having a heart attack.
Also, a major problem with nicotine is that it is highly addictive. So a lot of people intend to smoke only five or six a day, but soon find themselves so hooked that they are getting through 20 every 24 hours.
Q I don't seem to be like other guys, Doc. When I pass urine, the liquid goes downwards instead of forward. It's much the same when I reach a sexual climax. My sex fluid goes straight down towards my feet instead of out in front of me. Why?
A Sounds like you may have a common male condition called hypospadias. In this disorder, the opening is on the underside of the head of the penis instead of at the tip. Please see a doctor right away. He will rapidly tell you whether you have hypospadias. If you have, then you should go and see a urologist - that is, a urological surgeon-specialist. You would need to take an operation to reposition the opening to the tip.
Q If I go to a doctor, could he give me medication that would stop me masturbating?
A No, I am afraid there is no such medication. If you want to stop, then the only way to do it by sheer willpower, and that is difficult if you are a highly sexed guy.
However, please bear in mind that this habit is not actually doing any harm to your health.
Q I am a 19-year-old secretary and I am in love with my boss. He has not noticed this so far. He is around 45. Do you think that if I offered him sex there is a chance that he might fall in love with me and leave his wife?
A That is most unlikely. Occasionally, middle-aged guys do fall for their young secretaries, but it is pretty unusual for them to leave their wives.
Anyway, offering your body for sex is really no way to attempt to make him love you. The odds are that the result would be a great deal of fuss, trouble and unhappiness. I suggest you try going out with one or two boys of your own age.