Dear Counsellor | In love with a deportee
Q: I thought I met the man of my dreams. He was a deportee who had served his time for his crime in the US. He had gone to the US and did a business marriage but it did not work out because his wife wanted more money and he ended up having a child with her. He was facing hard times. He deals in drugs and one day the police caught him with drugs - a lot of it. It was not his drugs. It was his friend's. He was innocent but he would not be a snitch. He was deported but found his way back to the States. Again he hooked up with a lady who took him for a ride. They have a child together. He is in Jamaica and he is not working but he is very understanding and helpful around the house. He told me that he was going to follow me to church. We now have a baby together. The pregnancy was rough because all the promises he made to me were broken. The baby was born distressed. He promised to marry me but he claims that the business marriage has not been dissolved. He states that he is trying hard to get a job but because of his prison record he cannot get one. I have to be maintaining him. In addition, he has not been to church with me. Furthermore, he is communicating with his overseas woman with suggestive texts.
I took him on as a project and I still love him and hope that we will be a family unit someday. A girlfriend of mine told me that he is no good and that he tried at her. Sometimes I am confused about what to do.
A: This man has not kept his promises. He has been deceitful. He is taking you for a fool. Unfortunately, you now have a child for him. Perhaps you need to investigate and find out if he has other children. You are taking care of him and he is trying a thing with your girlfriend. Him being a good handyman is no reason to marry him or have him in the house. It might be cheaper to employ a carpenter when necessary instead of having to care for him 24/7.
Based on what you have said he is up to no good. Let him pack his bags and go before you get pregnant again.