Yes I can trust again
If you've been on this journey with us over the last several weeks, we have been going through the 'Yes, I Can' series. This week, we continue with 'Yes, I Can Trust Again'. When we "... place confidence in someone to be honest with us, faithful to us, keep promises, vows and confidences and not abandon us", we are putting our trust in them.
"The high cost of lost trust," a Harvard Business Review article, says, "It takes evidence of only a single lie for a manager to be branded a 'liar.' In contrast, a person has to tell a whole lot of truth to qualify as a 'straight shooter'." Trust often takes hard work to build, but can very easily crumble. Yet, as we highlighted last week, trust is a crucial ingredient in wholesome relationships. without it, we can't genuinely love people.
So how do we recover from a lack of trust today? Last week, we started using the T.R.U.S.T. acrostic and saw that we first had to take a look at ourselves and remove any baggage that stops us from trusting others. Today, we complete this acrostic by looking at the other letters:
U - USE THE PROPER METHOD TO FORM GOOD RELATIONSHIPS
The need for relationship is so great that sometimes, instead of allowing it to grow and build in a natural way, we run ahead and get hurt. But good relationships must be built over time.
1 John 3:18 says, "Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each other. let us really show it by our actions." Relationships are built as actions demonstrate that we can be trusted. When people enter our lives, they must go through stages of relationship from acquaintance to casual friend to - good friend, and our deepest relationship is with our close or bona fide friend.
Acquaintances are people who we meet and interact with infrequently. Maybe after time spent together, we discover things that we have in common and they become casual friends. There are limits to this relationship - we don't ask certain questions, we don't share very personal details, and we don't lend them $10,000. Trust is growing, but still has a way to go.
Proverbs 12 :26 NLT '07 informs us: "The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray." A person gets to be a good friend over time as we recognise their godly qualities and grow closer in our friendship. The good friend provides godly advice and proves that he can be trusted.
Proverbs 17:17 says of the bona fide friend, "A friend is always loyal, and a brother is borne to help in times of need." This is the person in your life who you completely trust because over time, they have proven to be trustworthy and give you godly counsel when you share your life on a deeper level. It should be a privilege to get into this position.
Jesus did it this way - he sent out his 72 disciples or acquaintances into nearby towns and villages, and he regularly clarified his teachings for the 12 apostles or casual friends who travelled with him. But only three good friends (Peter, James and John) were trusted to experience events like his transfiguration and only one bona fide friend, John, was given a deeper revelation of who Jesus was.
S - START OVER OR START TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS
If you are saying to yourself today that "I don't have a group of friends that I would feel comfortable developing a deeper, more meaningful, trusting relationship with", then you need to take a risk.
Start going to church and join one of their small groups or serve a ministry in some way. Use the opportunity to meet various people and take your time to grow in relationship with them.
T - TRUST YOURSELF TO YOUR PRIMARY RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS
Jesus went to the cross, died and conquered death, and He gives us the opportunity to be a friend of God. The God of the universe, the one who spoke creation into being, wants to be your friend - that's pretty exciting! If there is ever a friend that you can trust unconditionally, it should be God. "So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God." Romans 5:11 NIV.
If you want to trust Him with your life today, say this prayer:
"Dear God, I know that I have sinned and need Your forgiveness. I believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins. I am willing to turn from my sins. I now invite Jesus Christ to come into my heart and life as my personal Saviour. I am willing, by God's strength, to follow and obey Jesus Christ as the Lord of my life. Amen"
When we form a solid relationship with God, all our other relationships will improve. The relationship with Him gives us the confidence to say "Yes, I can trust again!"