Wed | Dec 12, 2018

Steve Lyston | The pain behind the mask

Published:Monday | October 2, 2017 | 12:00 AM
Just friends, please

Many people hide behind a mask at one point or another in their lives. So that instead of revealing the emotional pain they are enduring, they put the 'happy face' mask on. For many others, they look good on the outside but are damaged on the inside - carrying years of pain, burdens, and rejection.

Many suffer silently and are afraid to trust anyone, and instead of confiding in someone, and sometimes because of their status in society, they prefer to portray the image of a perfect lifestyle.

I have come to the understanding that the higher up or the more popular/well-known a person is in society, the greater the suffering is in that respect, because they have fewer persons they can trust to confide in, and so they keep it in and suffer the pain silently. Some even resort to suicide, drugs, and alcohol.

Hurting people will often hide behind their position, possessions, sense of humour and will dress to get attention, compete; and some will even create controversy in order to get the attention and stay relevant in the minds of others because they are, in essence, crying out for help. Sadly, many of them are also the ones who influence our children and youth. They are what some would deem to be 'damaged goods' internally.

It is critical for society to begin creating an atmosphere for change if we truly want to see change occur - to bring healing and change, regardless of a person's status. People's behavioural patterns are often shaped by their experiences and oftentimes, there is a time the 'volcano' in them erupts and they spew on everyone around them. Some become cold as a result of their pain and treat others with very little respect, care, warmth, appreciation, or patience.




There are many reasons why persons behave in such a manner. For some, they were rejected by their parents or their parents showed preference to other siblings. For others, it is broken marriage, betrayal, personal adversity, absence of the father from the home, or lack of a good relationship with their mothers,

No one will achieve true wholesomeness, prosperity, and peace until true healing takes place.

There was a time when a simple thing such as hugging a person would bring healing to their soul. But now, because of the stigma attached to seeing two persons of the same gender hugging, there is no longer that freedom to do so. The Church needs to create that spirit-filled atmosphere to bring healing.

What do we want to see in our society on a daily basis? Do we want to see a positive, growing society? It means that people will need to begin showing affection to each other again - affection without ulterior motives.

Are we so busy on a daily basis that we are willing to neglect our families - whether pastor or politicians? Will you keep trying to save the world while your family is suffering, hurting and hiding behind a mask? You smile for the camera, but when you get home, husband and wife go to two different rooms. We show pretty pictures on social media when the opposite is true at home.




We need to see politicians take a week and publicly and genuinely compliment each other, or say the positive things they see in each other.

Media should now go into the communities and start bringing out the more positive news. We need to know what would lead a person to crime and violence so that we can see how to help them and others around us overcome that and live positively.

Companies should begin reaching out to the communities they serve. They should employ more people from the community, and go out and give more assistance to those communities.

The Church's presence needs to be felt. For some, the building is present, but the members don't even know one member of the community they serve.

We all need to go back to teaching our children the value and importance of being affectionate, and lead that action by example.

Change begins with us. Our actions change the climate and our atmosphere.

- Steve Lyston is a biblical economics consultant and author of several books, including 'End Time Finance' and 'The New Millionaire'.