Dear Counsellor | My 18-y-o has a proposal
Q: My only daughter surprised me again. She told me that her boyfriend proposed to her and she showed me her engagement ring. She did well in high school. I am a single mother and was willing to make the sacrifice to send her to university.
However, she opted to start working and delaying her university education. She has been working for three months, so I did not expect any talk of marriage. The young man is okay and he is working. However, I did not know the relationship was so serious. I do not think they can manage financially. Furthermore, I do not have any money to fund a wedding reception, if they are thinking about that. I had her when I was seventeen and got no help from her father, so I do not want her to make the same mistake. I told her she is too young for marriage. She disagrees with me and claims that she is disappointed that I am not happy for her. What is your advice?
A: Well, she is not too young to get married. In fact, legally she can get married without consent. Furthermore, you survived as a 17-year-old single mother, so she having a husband means she has a very good opportunity to succeed in family life. Additionally, getting married at this age gives them an opportunity to grow together. It is clear that they are marrying out of love.
It is better you support your daughter and rejoice with her. Give her advice on how to manage on a tight budget. You could encourage her not to have a child at this time after the marriage but wait until after she starts and finishes university. In addition, have a meeting with the young man and pledge your support and ascertain his intentions concerning your daughter and their future. Tell him that you think he is okay. Just give them your blessings.