Fri | Dec 14, 2018

Dear Counsellor | Cheating with a married woman

Published:Tuesday | December 12, 2017 | 12:00 AM

Q I had a boyfriend who told me he had changed. He was married and has a son with his ex-wife. However, his marriage broke up because he cheated on his wife with a married woman. That relationship between him and the married woman produced a daughter. Her husband decided to take the girl as if it were his own. The girl has the husband's surname and does not know that he is not her biological father. The relationship with the married woman ended and we started a relationship. He said he was now more mature and was turning over a new leaf. Things went well for a while. He was a perfect gentleman. He had plans to do further studies and get a better job. He even started to go to church. What surprised me was that he said he kept in touch with the married woman during the holiday seasons to see how his daughter was doing. The relationship was not what I wanted and we broke up. Guess what? He restarted the relationship with the same married woman. Now he says he has finished with this married woman and he wants us to restart our relationship because he is wiser now and stronger. What should I do?

A This man is a real scumbag. He violated his marriage. Then he messed up another man's marriage. And he has probably messed up that young girl's life. Perhaps it is best if she never knows her true father. The husband of the cheating wife is obviously an honourable man to accept the child as his own. And having done that, he is being put through another episode of infidelity involving his wife and orchestrated by this cheater. This guy is an awfully weak and wicked person. He cannot even be true to himself. He claims he has changed, but he repeats his actions. He claims he was turning over a new leaf, but it seemed he turned back a page. Where is the maturity and wisdom he speaks of? Certainly not in his conduct. Do not rekindle a relationship with him. Move away far from him and move on.