Mon | Sep 24, 2018

Romance movies, novels and real life

Published:Saturday | April 14, 2018 | 12:00 AMCecelia Campbell-Livingston/Gleaner Writer

From this moment, I have been blessed

I live only, for your happiness

And for your love, I give my last breath

From this moment on

From This Moment - Shania Twain

She could not wait for him to kiss her ... her heart was beating like a runaway train. The anticipation of his lips touching hers ... she was eager to experience all that she had read about in so many romantic novels. When the moment finally happened, she was disappointed. The Earth did not move, it stood still on its axis ... a let down from all that she had anticipated would happen. Could it be she was not really in love?

The following is a confession from a romance-novel addict who wanted to experience all that she had spent her life reading about. Unfortunately, she is not the only one who has experienced this kind of let down as they look for the thrills from hours invested in fictional tales woven by creative writers.

While some spend their lives never even getting close to their expectations of the Earth-shattering emotions they were looking for, a chat with Joan Gumbs, pastor of How Ya Livin Now who shed some light on the issue with Family and Religion, said such emotions are possible, if couples are in the right relationships.

 

SOMEONE FOR EVERYONE

 

"However, it is apparent that not everyone seems to have that experience. I believe it is a matter of 'every hoe have it tick a bush'. The trouble is, we do not want to wait, so we end up settling. I believe there is someone out there for everyone who will stimulate an expressive emotion in that person," she said.

Regarding the 'blown-up emotions,' Gumbs said that it is something that either happens or doesn't. She said that if you are fortunate enough to be with someone who stimulates your spirit, soul, and body, then it will happen.

"And when I say stimulate, I am not speaking in a physical manner. You can be turned on to a person by just a mere conversation on the phone," she pointed out.

For those who are awaiting their 'prince charming,' Gumbs said that they should still go for it. They just have to understand that he won't come riding a white horse (unless you are on a farm).

"He may drive a battered car, but he has a heart of gold and will open the car door for you. Believe me, chivalry is not dead. The 'Earth moving' usually comes after, due to hormones and emotions that develop due to the endorphins released. And that is due to how he makes you feel," she shared.

Gumbs, who confessed that she is a romantic at heart herself, said that she believes in true love, monogamy, and soulmates.

"But I also believe we can confuse Earth-moving lust with Earth-tremor love. You can be with someone who will make you feel all knotted inside and he or she is the wrong person for you. Don't give up on the 'Earth-tremor' love because you want the 'Earth-moving' lust. Lust is temporary. It cannot weather the storm, but love is everlasting. Love never dies," are the cautionary words coming from her.

Citing an experience of her own, she said she got married for all the wrong reasons resulting in a divorce and the realisation that he was never right for her.

"He was not my soulmate and I knew it even before we got married. Nevertheless, I settled for Earth-moving lust. So while I was in love, he was in lust. Many men do this. They confuse lust with love," she said.

In concluding, Gumbs said to always remember that romance novels and movies are fiction. But like all fiction, the writer had to base it off some experience.

"So, it is possible to feel the emotions played out by these fictional characters. However, having that feeling does not mean that the person is right for you or that it is love. Women are very emotional. So if our emotions are involved, it won't be hard to engender these romance-novel emotions. My advice is this: If you meet someone who is kind, loving, faithful, loyal, and God-fearing, then you have a winner. Go for it!"

familyandreligion@gleanerjm.com