Sun | Feb 23, 2020

A father’s perspective

Published:Saturday | June 23, 2018 | 12:00 AMTamara Bailey/Gleaner Writer
Carl Rhoe, father of two children.

MANDEVILLE, Manchester:

Being a dad is not always easy but entrepreneur Carl Rhoe says he could not have life any other way.

"I felt happiness and trepidation all at the same time ... we were about to bring a young one into the world and there was a little bit of doubt and the questions came, 'Did I do the right thing? Am I really prepared for this?' of course, there is no school that really prepares you to be a father so you would have to wing it as it were," Rhoe told Family and Religion.

However, he said that he did not take his responsibility lightly knowing all too well that for the next 18 years, he had to invest in the life of mini-humans.

"It was a tremendous experience and there was no moment that stood out more than the other because I was excited about everything. With my first child, the girl, we did almost everything together and so it is up to this day. I remember taking long walks with her, pushing her in her stroller, teaching her how to ride a bicycle and seeing her fall off and getting back up and I can remember at infant school from a very tender age, she was chosen to read a lesson that she shouldn't have been able to read at that time and she did it beautifully," Rhoe said with pride.

The father of two said that when the second child, the boy, came into the picture, it was not as easy as he thought it would have been with the knowledge garnered from baby number one, but not so.

"Two children, two different personalities and while my daughter liked attention and would have us do everything together, my son, from day one, liked his own company, was very independent and liked doing things in his own time without anyone rushing him.

Rhoe revealed with bouts of laughter that his daughter was active from the belly, always kicking and energetic, but on the other hand, his son scared them many times with his lack of movement and they wondered if he had died.

"But, you see, as parents, it is important for us to embrace, appreciate, and love them for who they are as an individual. You created them and brought them here, it is only natural for you to love them," said Rhoe.

Which is why Rhoe continues to be baffled by those who abandon their children before or after birth.

"They are cheating themselves. When I remember the various stages of the children's development, those parents are cheating themselves, you are actually looking at a replica of yourself and you have the responsibility of guiding another human being to achieving. For the men who tend to deny the paternity, they will never have this experience and even if later on they fix the broken relationship, there are moments they will never be able to recapture," said Rhoe.




He is of the belief that a mother can't really teach a boy how to be a man, but he lifts his hat to the mothers who have had to father as well.

"I take off my hat to the single mothers because it takes a lot of sacrifice, putting the child's need before theirs and making it work," said Rhoe.

He later mentioned: "I believe a key role of any father is creating an ambience for the child's personality. I look at my children and I am very proud, they are contributing positively to society, there is nothing inferior about them, they know exactly who they are and they are on a mission to fulfil their purpose."

Rhoe said that the only regret is that he did not have his children sooner, but is comforted by ways in which his children have taken on the principles he and his wife have instilled in them and he is looking forward to how they will pass it down to future generations.