Unmarried and Celibate - The brothers of the Church speak up - Part 4
Ever wondered why some people lose all their self-confidence and slip deep into depression after being rejected by their intimate partner?
According to Jeremy McKenzie of Church of God International, these emotional inconsistencies are more likely to happen with those who have explored premarital sex.
The 25-year-old said while individuals will come up with different theories and reasons why they should indulge in premarital sex, none of them should yield when the Bible clearly states otherwise.
"... I can understand why it would be a concern to many, given that sex change is now happening on such a wide scale. Others will say that they need to know if the person is 'good' in bed. Hands down, this is plain rebellion. Mankind just refuses to submit to the Word of God and is trying to come up with every possible reason to disobey."
He continued, "Sex before marriage is dangerous in that you run the risk of becoming attached to someone who can change their mind about marrying you. This can have a significant impact, mostly on women - but men too; you find that when persons are rejected, it affects their self-esteem, they may become promiscuous, which helps to further lower their self-worth ..."
But aren't urges natural, and did God not make sex for a woman and a man to enjoy? Why should we fight these urges?
"It is very human to have urges; this does not make you a sinner. And this is not necessarily a one-size-fits-all solution because some persons have raging urges and I'm not sure what to recommend for that. The best thing to do is to try to be active. Translate that energy into some recreational activity, play football, join a gym, become a toastmaster, go see a movie, become active in your church (this last point is my favourite). Because I am a lay-preacher, I have a greater desire to live up to the standards of the Bible than the average Christian who is not so active. I also find the fear of God as my driving factor for avoiding sexual sin. I'm literally terrified of God, and I believe sexual sin is in the top five worst sins to commit, along with idolatry and Sabbath breaking."
He added, "I've been a Christian for seven years and it's the best decision I have made and will ever make in life. I live for this and I'll die for it. If it were not for the Bible, life would not make sense to me. Not even to take on a worthwhile project like researching a cure for cancer or putting an end to world hunger (the poor you feed today will die tomorrow - or some point in life, like all of us). I believe there is a greater purpose for man: the Apostle Paul said, 'for the suffering of this world cannot be compared to the glory that will be revealed in us'. And to me, this is a most worthwhile journey."
McKenzie, who has been in a relationship for the past two years, said he prayed and fasted for his partner, and believes that it is as a result of his prayer and supplication that God is making his celibacy a bearable road.
"The writer of Ecclesiastes says, 'The eyes are never satisfied'. If you allow them to stray, they will; you have to train them to focus on the right things'," he ended.