Finding you by first loving you
She grew up in a dysfunctional home, which she left at age 15. By 18, she was arrested for trafficking drugs. She had her first child while in jail and lost him through the system. She ended up being a single mother and looked for love in all the wrong places.
The story of Kerie Thombs, more popularly known as Kiki, has been shared on numerous occasions, and while it has always inspired, the evidence of resilience in her wins continues to help people receive their breakthroughs.
The author and transformational coach said she went through episodes of depression that became even harder for her to handle while being a media personality. And it took the intentional effort of self-love and forgiveness to help her reach where she is today.
“Love is the true essence of who we are. When we refer to God … the spirit that exists within us, the energy that we are referring to, that is love. Therefore, if we are to discover ourselves, we have to love ourselves,” she said.
She said that many people often make reference to the Bible when it comes to morality, among other issues, but very few reference its instructions on self-love.
“When we come into the world as babies, we are perfect; we have no negative thoughts, no insecurities. When peers start throwing their insecurities at us, it births negative thoughts. The greatest computer is our brain; we choose to allow the world to programme it or not” she said.
She shared an analogy of people being shouted at, feeling badly, and then programming the mind to make it mean that they are unworthy, they are ugly, and they are annoying, among other negative thoughts.
“Believing is the key to activation. Over time, we begin to attract people and situations in our lives without even realising it, and soon, we are sucked into this vortex of negativity, and there is no one to say, ‘You are dying here’. And we continue to walk around in this brokenness and continue to attract the same kinds of people who make you feel like you are your insecurities” she said.
Thombs, who was speaking at the Made in Manchester Women’s Summit, pleaded that people discard all the insecurities that have been thrown at them and rekindle the power that is embedded within.
“We need to understand that though our thoughts are broken, it doesn’t mean we are broken. Every time you have a thought, that thought releases a chemical, and that chemical has an effect… .”
She said it is important to forgive self, people, society and especially our parents, whom a lot of us blame for the way we are.
“Heal thy mind, thy soul, thy body. Don’t put your burdens on anyone but you; don’t expect anyone to heal you but you. Don’t walk around believing all these stories about who you are when you don’t even know who you are yet.
“Women are the backbone of society, and if more women understood that, then men wouldn’t even dare to think of doing some of the things they do,” she said.
She said that breath is underrated and that people should look to the power of breath as it is more important than thought and is the only thing that can anchor us.
Join us next week, when we will share with you the journey of a woman who has dominated a male-saturated field.