Sat | Sep 23, 2017

Dear doc: My wife's sex games

Published:Sunday | October 26, 2014 | 10:00 AM

My wife's sex games

Q.
Doc, could you give me some information about Internet sex and its dangers? For some time now, my wife has been playing around on the Internet in the evenings and getting herself a little sexually excited.

I don't mind that too much, because it makes her more interested in sex with me. However, there has now been a new development. She has made email contact with another couple our own age, who lives around 60 miles away.

Apparently, she has exchanged some 'erotic' messages with them, and last night, it appears that the other woman actually orgasmed while 'talking' with my wife.

Now the three of them want me to join in. The idea is that my wife and I should 'talk' with both of them while we have sex.

But I am not so sure, Doc. Could we get ourselves into trouble this way?

A Yes, you definitely could! In my experience, this sort of activity usually leads to other things. In fact, there is a chance that, before long, your wife and this couple would want to exchange sexy photos or perhaps engage in sex over Skye.

From there, it would be a short step to meeting up for a sexual 'foursome', with all the dangers that this would entail. These dangers could include STIs, unwanted pregnancy and divorce.

My advice: don't have anything more to do with this Internet sex!

Contraception during menopause

Q. Doctor, my menses are getting less frequent, so I guess I will be reaching menopause soon. I am only 43.

How long do I have to continue with contraception?

A Experts say that if a woman reaches menopause before the age of 50, then she should continue with her contraception for another two years.

However, if she doesn't reach 'the change' until she is 50-plus, it is generally considered sufficient to use precautions for one year.

Feeling faint after Viagra

Q. I have been trying Viagra recently, and it works very well, Doc.

The only problem is that when I get out of bed after sex, I suddenly feel quite faint! In fact, last Tuesday I nearly passed out. What is going on?

A. Well, Viagra lowers the blood pressure, and in some ways, this is a very good thing. But if you stand up too suddenly after sex, your blood pressure may fall very low and not enough blood will get to your brain.

The result is that you feel peculiar and may even faint.

My advice: ask your doctor to prescribe you a lower dose of Viagra. And after you have had sex, do not jump out of bed too quickly!

Will my husband find out I cheated?

Q. While my husband was away working in Trelawny this week, I found myself in bed with one of his friends. I just do not know how this happened, Doc, and I know it was wrong. I'm afraid I got carried away by the fact that he is a very attractive man.

But what I would like to ask you is if there is any way that my husband could find out that I had sex with this other man?

A. Only if his friend tells him which seems unlikely. But if you mean 'Are there any physical changes in the body which could provide evidence of adultery?' then the answer is 'No'.

I am concerned that you so readily had sex with another man. This seems to suggest that maybe your marriage is not in a very good shape. So I urge you to go and have a confidential talk with a marriage counsellor.

Squeaky female condom

Q. Last month, my wife decided that she would like to try the 'female condom'.

It has been OK, and while using it, we have both enjoyed sex. But the device makes a loud squeaky sound whenever I thrust into her. I find this off-putting!

Is there anything we could do about it?

A. The original design of the female condom, which is manufactured from polyurethane, is notorious for making a sound. As you say, it tends to occur every time the man pushes forward.

But there is now a newer version which does not make this noise. It is made of latex and not polyurethane. It is known as 'FC2' - meaning 'female condom, second generation'.

You can probably get it from a pharmacy near you. But if they don't stock it, then you can easily purchase it via the Internet. Just type in the words 'Buy female condom FC2'.

How do they get the IUD in?

Q. I am a woman who really knows nothing about sex. My fiancé has suggested that I get one of those IUD or coil things put in, so that we can enjoy intercourse together.

But I have absolutely no idea of how they are inserted, Doctor! Does a gyno make a cut in the stomach, and put it in through there?

A. No, that's not what happens at all. It is all done via the vagina. There is no 'cutting' involved.

You see, the coil is about the length of a matchstick. In width, it measures about an inch or so. But, before insertion, it can be 'straightened out' into a very narrow thing like a drinking straw.

So what the doctor (or nurse) does is to ask you to lie on an examination couch. She then puts an instrument called a 'speculum' into the vagina, thus letting her see your cervix.

After that, she takes the 'drinking straw' and pushes it through the cervix and into the womb. At that point, she pushes the IUD out of the drinking straw, so that it expands to its original shape, and takes up its correct position inside your womb.

This is not exactly pain-free, especially if you have never had a child. But most women think it is well worth having the device inserted.

Obsessed with my wife's best friend

Q.  Doc, I seem to be getting obsessed with my wife's best friend. Whenever I am having sex with my wife, I find that I am thinking about her friend and how beautiful she would look when naked.

Is there any medication I could take for this serious obsession?

A. No, there is no medication you could take. But you must do something about this situation before it gets worse!

Psychologists say that if a man keeps thinking about someone just before he climaxes, then that person's image will get 'imprinted' on his mind. The result may be that he soon finds that he cannot orgasm at all unless he thinks about this woman.

So you have got to change things right away. A method developed by behavioural psychologists is for you to decide that, from now on, you will always think about some other image, preferably involving your wife, just before you climax.

Please don't always think about the same image - because if you do, then you could get 'fixated' on this new fantasy.