While my husband is away ...
While my husband is away
Q Doctor, my husband is away on a course in England. Recently, one of his male colleagues has been coming to see me. It is obvious he likes me a lot, and wants to go to bed with me.
Frankly, I am tempted, lonely and 'sex starved'. Would there be any harm in giving in to him, solely for the period in which my husband is away? Am I right in thinking that it is unlikely he could get me pregnant, as I am now 36?
A Don't you realise that many 36-year-old women get pregnant? Admittedly, your fertility is probably a little less than it was at 26. But if you let this man seduce you, there is a high chance you will end up with a child!
Please do not regard an affair with this man as a trivial matter. When people commit adultery, there are serious consequences such as falling in love, catching an STD, their spouses finding out, among others. All kinds of bad things can happen.
So I beg you, do not give in to this man. Doubtless you are kissing and caressing him each time he comes to your house. But please tell him no more and stop him from coming to your house.
As you are sexually frustrated while your husband is away, please remember that there is no law against masturbation. And medically-speaking, it is harmless.
Did I give her yeast?
Q A woman has accused me of giving her yeast, Doc. Is this medically possible?
AYes, it is, although women can get yeast without catching it from a sex partner.
I presume she is being treated by her doctor and it would be wise for you to get some treatment as well - even though you may not have any symptoms. You could well be a 'symptomless carrier'.
In the mean time, buy a tube of anti-thrush cream - which is the same thing as anti-yeast cream - and apply it to your penis three times per day. You should do this for at least a week.
Please do not have sex during this time.
on the Pill
QDoc, is it true that smoking cigarettes makes the Pill more dangerous?
AThat is absolutely true, especially for any woman 30 years or older. A good rule is this. If you want to take the Pill, do not smoke.
Can't keep up
with my fiancée
Q Can you tell me something about my new fiancée, doctor? She really enjoys having sex. In fact, she wants it much more often than I do. Ideally, she would like to have sex every day, and I can't keep up with that.
A friend of mine told me that she must be a 'nymphomania'. Is that a medical condition, and if so, could I get her treated by a doctor?
A The word 'nymphomaniac' is sometimes applied by males to women who have a lot of sexual desire. But nymphomania is not a genuine clinical condition, and in medical textbooks you will not find it described as a disorder.
Psychiatrists do sometimes use the word hypersexuality to describe the situation in which a woman wants sex all day, every day. That occasionally happens in the disease called bi-polar disorder. And very rarely, it can occur after a blow to the head.
But there is no way that your fiancee could be described as mentally ill. It is true that she is 'highly sexed'. However, that is not a sickness.
What concerns me is that your sexual desire is nowhere near as powerful as hers! That is a bad foundation for a marriage. So I honestly think you should reconsider this engagement.
He can't get in
Q I have been married for six months to an Englishman, and so far we have been unable to consummate our marriage, because he simply cannot get in.
When I was in England during Christmas, I consulted a doctor, and she said the problem is referred to as vaginal septum.
What is that? Can it be treated? I am now back in Jamaica.
A It is quite common for women to have a 'septum', which is like a wall down the middle of the vagina. As you have found, it makes intercourse difficult or impossible.
I forecast a doctor will be able to operate and successfully remove the septum, and within a few weeks, you can start having sex.
Fear of sex after fractured penis
Q I believe I fractured my penis a few years ago. Since then, I have not attempted to have sex with a woman.
However, I have now met a beautiful woman, and I hope to marry her. But we have not had sex because of my fears.
Doctor, do you think it would be safe to enter her? Or would there be a risk of fracturing my penis again?
A Fracture of the penis is pretty uncommon, so you were very unlucky. Presumably, you were treated by a hospital, it should be quite safe to have sex with this woman. However, take matters gently! Also, I would recommend that you avoid two sexual positions, because these are most often associated with fractures of the penis. They are:
• The man lying on his back, woman sitting on top of him.
• Doing it from behind and on all fours - doggy position.
These sexual postures can put a strain on the man's penis, particularly if the woman suddenly shifts her weight.
Ashamed of long labia
Q I am a 27-year-old female and I have always been embarrassed by the fact that I have very long labia. This has made me reluctant to go to bed with men.
Now I have seen an ad on the Internet, featuring a clinic in America where they will cut a woman's labia to any length and shape she wants.
Should I travel there and have it done since I can afford it?
A I must warn you that in the United States, there are quite a few doctors who make a great living out of 'reshaping' women's vulvas. Though they describe themselves as surgeons, their qualifications are sometimes not very good.
Please note that if the operation goes wrong, the results can be serious.
I don't believe you should waste your money to have some sort of surgeon trim your labia. It would be far better to consult an expert in Jamaica, and see what she says about your vulva.