Sun | Oct 21, 2018

Does my wife mind my size?

Published:Sunday | March 15, 2015 | 12:00 AM

Q Doctor, I have been married 10 years and throughout that time I have always felt my male organ really is not big enough for my wife - even though she has never complained.

I read recently that a guy should be between six and seven inches long. So this week I plucked up the courage and when I had an erection, I got hold of a tape measure.

To my disappointment, I only measured around 5.8 inches. That doesn't seem too good.

A Like a lot of men, you are far too worried about the length of the penis. Before I discuss measurement in detail, can I assure you that most women are NOT at all interested in how long the organ is? Females do NOT go around saying things like 'Oh he's a wonderful lover, because he measures 'x' inches.'

No, in most cases they are much more interested in whether the man is romantic, kind and thoughtful. They are also pleased if the guy knows what he is doing in bed, and can use his fingertips, and perhaps his lips and tongue, to good effect.

So the fact that your wife has never complained about your length suggests strongly to me that the subject has never even crossed her mind. I would wager that she doesn't think you are 'short' at all.

Now, let us turn to actual measurements. You say that your length is 5.8 inches when you are erect. Well, until recent years there were a lot of books and scientific papers which suggested that the average guy 'measured up' at around six and a half inches.

The only trouble with this figure was that it just wasn't true! It was based on measurements which a lot of men had sent in. And frankly, some of those guys were lying.

The first accurate scientific research was carried out by a group of doctors and nurses several years ago, at a convention in Mexico. Males were invited into a tent, where nurses measured them up and recorded the results. Several hundred young men were assessed. And it turned out that their average length was considerably less than six inches.

Some folks did not believe this finding. But in the last month, a reliable and much larger scientific study of more than 15,000 men was published in the British Journal of Urology International.

It shows that the average guy measures only 5.2 inches when erect. That's right 5.2 inches.

So with your 5.8 inches, you are a good deal longer than average. And you can quit fretting.

Q Good day, doctor. I am a wife who has been having slight discomfort during sex. I went to a doctor in Miami (where I was on holiday at the time) and he told me where I had something called fibroids.

I have looked up this word on the Internet, and I understand that it means 'swellings in the womb'. I am a little scared by that.

Could these fibroids turn cancerous? And is my life in danger?

A Well, fibroids are real common in Jamaica among women aged 25 and older. They can be in various sizes - some are as small as a ping-pong ball or a lime, while others are bigger than a cricket ball.

Fortunately, it is very rare for them to become cancerous. So there is NO danger to your life at all, I assure you.

It is important to realise that fibroids often produce no symptoms. And if there are no symptoms, there is no need to do anything about the fibroids.

But they can sometimes cause one or more of the following:

• Discomfort during sex

• Actual pain during sex

• Discomfort in the lower part of the belly

• Problems with urination

• Heavy menses

• Constipation (from pressure on the rectum)

• Lower back pain

The good news is, the symptoms can be treated. The traditional ways of treating them are hysterectomy (removal of the womb), and an operation called 'myomectomy' (cutting the fibroids out from the womb).

But these days, there are other good ways of treating fibroids. They include:

• A drug called Gonadotrophin-Releasing Hormone Antagonists, that shrinks fibroids down;

• A procedure called uterine artery embolisation, in which the blood supply to the fibroids is blocked.

And recently, it has been announced that a drug called Esmya is proving useful in making fibroids smaller. However, at the moment it is mainly used as a kind of preparation for surgical removal.

In your case, your only symptom is mild discomfort during sex. I would advise you just to try OTHER intercourse positions, and see if that helps. But if it doesn't, it would be a good idea to consult a gynecologist.

Q I have never been very successful in making my female partners orgasm. But I read in a United States magazine advice column that I should try positions in which 'manual clitoral stimulation is possible'.

What does that mean, please doc?

A The person who wrote that meant that you should try sex positions in which you can easily reach your lady's clitoris - so as to rub it during sex and thus help her to reach a climax.

There are sites on the web which describe these positions. But commonly-used ones include 'the spoons' which both of you lie on your side, with you behind her. It is then easy for you to 'reach round' during intercourse, so as to stimulate her clitoris.

An alternative is the famous 'doggy' position, in which the clitoris is well within the reach of your hand.

Q I am a 31-year-old woman who leads a very active sex life. Away from the Pill, what contraceptive options are open to me, doctor?

A Well, the main ones are:

* The Coil (the IUD)

* The Mirena (the hormone-loaded coil)

* The Mini-Pill

* The Jab (Shot)

* The Patch (Evra)

* The Ring (which is a little hormone-loaded vaginal circle)

* The Implant (which goes under your skin)

* The Cap

* The Diaphragm.

In addition there is also the possibility of using condoms - which have the added bonus of giving you quite a lot of protection against infection.

Q Doctor, my girlfriend (who is 34) has suddenly started getting a bad headache, whenever she orgasms! Is this OK?

A She should see a doctor, and have a medical check-up, including a blood pressure reading.But please do NOT make her orgasm until the doctor has seen her, and said that it is OK to do so.

Q I am female, 31, and I have stupidly got involved in a two women - one man' relationship with my husband and his long-term girlfriend.

Trouble is, I think I am falling in love with the other woman! What should I do, doctor?

A This can be one of the unfortunate consequences of those risky 'threesome' situations.

Only thing to do now is to call the entire thing to a HALT! And try NEVER to see this other woman again.