Tue | Sep 25, 2018

Love life of a pregnant wife

Published:Sunday | March 22, 2015 | 12:00 AM

Q Doctor, I am a married woman, living in Clarendon and I am five months pregnant. My husband and I are both 'highly-sexed', so obviously we want to continue having relations. Is that OK at this stage of pregnancy?

Also, the 'regular position' is getting pretty uncomfortable. Are there any other ones that we could try?

Unknown to my husband, I have an 'occasional' boyfriend. He travels round the island, so I only see him every couple of weeks or so.

To be frank, he loves having sex with me, and he has assured me that it is 'good for the baby.' Is this true, doctor?

ALet us begin with that 'sex is good for the baby' foolishness. Some guys who are skilled seducers still use this old story when romancing pregnant women. They also claim that having sex will 'make labour easier'. These statements are just nonsense! So do not believe them.

Now as it relates to sex with your husband, these days, most health professionals believe that it is quite OK to have sex during pregnancy. But you should be guided by your midwife or doctor, particularly during the last month of the pregnancy.

As it regards position, most pregnant women find that in the later months it is easiest if they make love on top of their spouses. For instance, there is the famous French position known as 'the Lyons stagecoach'. You can look this up on Google, but, essentially, the guy is on his back, and the woman is sitting on him while facing him, and leaning back a little. This produces no pressure on her 'bump,' so it is comfortable.

Finally, I return to the rather troubling question of your boyfriend. Has it occurred to you that this guy probably has other ladies in various parts of Jamaica? If he has, then there has to be a risk that he could infect you with germs.

And an infection in the gynaecological area while you are carrying a baby could mean big trouble for the baby! My advice: give this guy up, now.


Could I still give her chlamydia?


Q Doc, I am a 32-year-old guy who is planning to get married in a few months. My fiancÈe and I have not had sex yet. My problem is that around five years ago, I caught chlamydia.

So I am wondering if I might still have it. And could I give it to my girlfriend when we eventually have sex?

A If you had a full course of the right antibiotic at the time of the chlamydia infection, then you have nothing to worry about.

But if you have the slightest doubt about whether you were totally cured, then you should go to a doctor and take the simple chlamydia test.

You owe it to your fiancÈe to avoid any possible risk to her health.


How do I use a diaphragm?


Q Hi, doctor. I am a woman with an active sex life. So I need some kind of contraception.

I read on the Internet about the diaphragm being used as a family planning method. So I sent off for one. It didn't cost too much.

It arrived in the post a couple of weeks later. It is a nice-looking little rubbery dome-shaped thing. But the problem is that I have no idea how to use it during sex! In fact, I don't even know how to put it into my vagina.

Help! Any ideas, doctor? Also, can a man feel it when it is inside?

A Well, to be honest it is not a great idea to buy your first diaphragm via the Internet. You see, these devices come in various sizes. That is because women's vaginas are also of various sizes. Generally, they are smallest in women who have had no children.

So really, any woman who wants to use a diaphragm should first get herself measured up by an experienced doctor or nurse, to see which size she needs.

Also, it is difficult to put a diaphragm inside you, and in exactly the correct place, unless you have been taught how to do it by a professional. It should be placed into position so that the 'back end' of it is behind the cervix, and the 'front' against the pubic bone. Without professional help, getting it into the right position is almost impossible. Therefore, what you must do now is to get a family planning nurse, midwife or doctor to 'fit' you.

And to your final question, if a lady uses the diaphragm correctly, her partner will not be able to feel it with his penis. Naturally, if he put his finger inside her during love play, he would be able to detect it.


Why didn't they like having sex with me?


Q I am male, age 30, and from Port Royal. I have had sex with several girls living here in the town, but none of them seemed to like it very much!

Do you think it is because I did go 'deep enough'?

A I do not think there is the slightest chance of that.

When women do not like sex with a guy, it is usually because he has done one of the following things:

* Treating them like a 'sex object';

* Ignoring their pleasure;

* Failing to be romantic;

* Offering no preliminary 'fore play' (love play);

* Rushing to the male climax, with no thought of what the woman wants.

There are other common male faults, but you might like to think about the above five points before you start your next relationship.


Oral sex after





Q How soon after childbirth is it safe to allow my partner to perform oral sex?

A Many people do not realise that cunnilingus (oral sex given to a woman) immediately after childbirth is highly dangerous.

Not very long ago, in England there was a tragic case of a wife who passed away because her husband insisted on giving her 'oral' just a few days after she had given birth. The death happened because the cunnilingus introduced air into her vagina and then into her womb. The air got into the bleeding blood tubes inside the womb and caused a fatal stroke.

So, I said that to say it is best to wait until the baby is at least two months old and all bleeding has ceased.


I hate the condom


Q Doctor, I just dislike the 'rubbery' feel of condoms and as such detest using them. Yet my new girlfriend insists on this kind of protection when having sex.

What can I do?

A Have you thought of suggesting that she uses female condoms? Those are usually made of a non-rubber material. And these days, they can be bought in most pharmacies or on the Internet.