Dear doc: Did sex cause fibroids?
Q Doctor, my marriage of seven years is in trouble. And my wife keeps accusing me of all kinds of things. In particular, she is saying that I must have caused fibroids to develop in her womb, as a result of intercourse.
Admittedly, the fibroids are now pretty tender, and she says that I am hitting them with the tip of my organ.
Any help would be appreciated.
PS: She is accusing me of cheating with other women, that is not true.
A Please tell your wife there is absolutely no way in which a man's organ can cause fibroids. These swellings are real common in women - and nobody really knows the cause of them.
But it is quite possible that one or more of the fibroids are tender, and that the tip of your penis is banging against the painful area. So it might be wiser to avoid intercourse for a while.
However, the only real answer to this problem is for your wife to see a gyno who can tell her if there is any need for her to undergo surgery or medication alone is sufficient.
I am afraid that it sounds like your marriage is in deep trouble. So please take great care not to make matters worse. And do not even look at another woman.
Also, I suggest you urge your spouse to come with you to a marriage counsellor.
A 'sexual quartet'
Q I have been married to my wife for six years, doctor. She is a beautiful woman, and we have a real good sex life.
My best friend and business partner is married to another lovely lady in our town. And she is extremely friendly with my wife. The four of us get on real well together. In fact, we often spend the evening having dinner or drinks. We have even been on vacations.
Last month, my friend came to me with a proposition. It seems like his wife really 'fancies' me sexually. And he has no objection to the idea of her having sex with me. To be honest, I was immediately excited by this idea.
Next day, I went to their house to discuss the proposition with them. She was real frank, and told me what she wanted. That was a bit of a surprise to me, doctor. It wasn't quite what I thought. She does not want a simple 'one-to-one' affair with me.
Instead, her idea is that the four of us should have what she calls a 'sexual quartet'. She says that we can have regular evenings in which both couples meet up in a bedroom and just have sex together. Apparently, the plan is that the two guys kind of move from one lady to the other and then back again. Indeed, she stated that she would not mind some 'girl-on-girl' action with my wife.
Well, my mind was really blown when she told me this. I kissed her, and then went off home to think about it. And the more I thought, the more excited I got. It seemed to me that it would be real good to have sex with my wife for a few minutes, and then 'switch' to my friend's wife and then perhaps back again.
By the way, the other couple think that we could keep the whole thing a secret, so that no one would ever find out about our 'arrangement'. I hope that would be possible.
Well, when I got home to my wife, I talked about this idea to her. To my surprise, she suddenly got real mad, and started screaming at me. She said that she wanted nothing to do with what she called my 'dirty idea'. And she ended up by throwing a piece of crockery at me.
Later in the day, I tried to convince her that she could get enormous sensual pleasure from having two guys in a single evening and maybe a little lesbian sex too. But she just got more upset and went home to her mother's for the night.
Doctor, don't you think she is being real selfish in turning down this opportunity? How can I convince her that it would be a great idea?
A I am afraid that I think it is you who are being selfish. You should not try and push your wife into something that she obviously thinks is morally wrong.
Even if you got her to agree, I do not believe that this 'foursome' arrangement would be as problem-free as you imagine. I have counselled a number of couples who have got themselves into that kind of set-up and something always seems to go wrong.
Problems which commonly arise are:
• One husband falls in love with the other guy's wife.
• Somebody gets pregnant - and no one knows who the daddy is.
• Somebody 'plays away' - and then introduces an infection into the quartet.
• Relatives, friends or (worst of all) children find out about the foursome.
• Most commonly of all, jealousy creeps in.
Yes, jealousy is a real big problem in these situations. For instance, one husband may get jealous of the other guy's 'equipment'. And only recently I heard of a case in which in which a woman provoked a real serious fuss by urging a guy to say that her vagina was 'better than his wife's'.
I do not think that you should try to persuade your spouse to go in for this crazy 'foursome' notion. Just drop the entire scheme - before real trouble arises.
Using the condom
with my boyfriend
QAs a 34-year--old woman, I am wondering if it would be safe to rely on the condom while having sex with my loving boyfriend?
AYes. Provided your man puts on the condom before entering you, and keeps it on until after he has 'exited,' then you should be fine.
Q Many years ago in England, I had a rather odd operation on my penis. Instead of circumcising me, the surgeon just cut into my foreskin.
That made everything less 'tight', doctor. But it has left me with two 'triangles' of skin, which are just flapping around. I am about to get married, and would like to remove this embarrassing appearance.
Would any pills or medication help?
ANo. What the surgeon did was what is called a dorsal slit operation. That is an old remedy for a tight foreskin - but it did tend to leave a rather strange-looking appearance.
What you should do now is to consult a urological surgeon. He can do a small 'trimming' operation to tidy everything up for you.
Q I am female, and have just turned 30. Recently I have had persisting pain in the lower part of the belly, plus a bad feeling of 'bloating'.
Also, whenever I eat I feel 'over-full' really quickly. Advice, please?
AThis may be nothing, but your symptoms do occur in cancer of the ovary. So every woman should be aware of those symptoms.
I am not saying that you have that dreaded disease. But you must see a gyno right away.