Oral sex made him sick
Q Doctor, I'm in need of your help badly. I am a 30-year-old female, and I recently met a guy, and we hit it off right away. We had oral sex on two occasions.
The first time, it was OK. But after the second time, he sent me a text to say 'I had made him sick.' He said he had caught a bacterium, and now was vomiting. He also mentioned that he doesn't want to see me any more.
Is there something wrong with me that made this man sick, doctor? I am also wondering if this is just a way for him to end the 'relationship.' What do you think?
A Well, it is certainly possible to pass on bacteria (including those of certain STIs) though oral sex.
But I cannot think of any female medical infection which could make a guy throw up! So I am inclined to agree with your suspicion. That text may just have been his not-very-caring way of dumping you.
However, in the unpublished part of your email, you noted some symptoms that would indicate that you should go to a doctor, in order to have an internal examination, and maybe some tests.
Please avoid sex until you have seen the doctor. Good luck.
Did the chik-V cause miscarriage?
Q I caught the chikungunya virus some time ago. Then I found out I was pregnant, but I miscarried.
Could it be the chik-V that caused the miscarriage?
A: Any feverish illness can cause a miscarriage. But what many people do not realise is that an astonishing one-in-five pregnancies ends in miscarriages. So there is no reason to suppose that the virus caused this sad event.
Is the pill safe for a 40-year-old?
Q I am a 40-year-old (female) cop and sexually active. I have resumed taking the Pill after a 10-year break, during which I relied on condoms.
But is the Pill safe for me? I am pretty healthy, I have no hypertension, and no diabetes. And I have no obvious 'negative reaction' to the Pill. Your advice, please.
A Some doctors are content to prescribe the Pill for sexually-active women aged 40-plus. But others (including myself) are not too happy about prescribing the 'combined oral contraceptive' to women in this age group.
Why? Because Pill-induced thrombosis (clotting) can strike out of the blue. It is rare, but occasionally, I have seen women in your age group collapse with a stroke or a heart attack, caused from a clot.
It is good that you do not have hypertension or diabetes, since these are recognised as 'risk factors' for clotting.
But do you have any other risk factors? For instance:
• Do you smoke?
• Are you overweight?
• Do you have a family history of clotting?
I think you should now go to your doctor and have a full discussion about possible risk factors. Make sure that he/she is prescribing a brand of Pill which has the lowest possible danger of causing a thrombosis.
If you were my patient, I would urge you to switch to the mini-Pill, which carries a far smaller risk of clotting.
Admittedly, because the mini-Pill is so 'mild,' it carries a slightly higher chance of pregnancy than the ordinary Pill does. But because fertility rates are lower in women over 35, the chances that you might get pregnant while taking the mini-Pill are slim. In fact, I do not think that I have ever seen a woman over 35 become pregnant while on the mini-Pill.
However, if you accept my advice and switch to the mini-Pill, you would have to remember to take it each day, at about the same time - and without fail.
Worried about wife's new 'skills'
Q My wife has suddenly started having multiple orgasms. Is this a sign that she is cheating on me?
A No, this is a crazy idea. Women often tend to acquire the ability to have multiple orgasms as the years go by simply because they have become used to enjoying sex with their husbands. So stop worrying.
No idea who my child's father is
Q I am a 24-year-old female teacher, and my problem is that I am uncertain who the father of my unborn child is.
You see, doctor, I went home to the country for a short break. I was on the last day of my menses when I had sex with one of boyfriends that day and for the next two weeks.
I then returned to Kingston, and had sex with my other boyfriend. Soon after that, I missed my period. And then discovered that I was pregnant.
So I'm uncertain as to who the father of my baby might be. I need your help.
A Sorry to hear about this. Much depends on whether either of these two men used any contraception (like condoms) when they had sex with you. If they didn't, then all we can do is look at the dates of intercourse, and assess the probabilities.
Seems like you had sex with your boyfriend in the 'country' on the last day of your menses, and for two weeks thereafter. That would take you far into your 'fertile time'.
In contrast, it sounds like you didn't have sex with your other boyfriend until at least 19 days into your cycle. While that does not rule him out as the father, he does seem to be the less-likely candidate.
So the odds are that your boyfriend in the country is the father, though this is by no means certain! Unfortunately, during pregnancy there is no safe way of doing any testing on the unborn child.
It is certainly possible to test the baby's DNA using a special technique called chorionic villus sampling (CVS). But this involves putting a long needle into the womb. The needle can be inserted through the skin of the belly, or through the vagina.
Alternatively, a sample of amniotic fluid can be withdrawn from the 'sac' surrounding the foetus. Either way, there is a risk to the child.
So in most cases, all the mother can do is wait until after the baby is born and do a DNA test.
You too would have to have a DNA test so would the two potential fathers, if they agree.
The test can be done on blood, or on some cells scraped from the inside of the cheek. And it is quite expensive.
My best suggestion is that you try and get the two men to do a test now. The results can then be stored until after the baby is born.
Can a drop of semen cause pregnancy?
Q Is a drop of semen enough to cause pregnancy?
A Yes, it is. There are thousands upon thousands of tiny sperms in a single drop.