Fri | Sep 21, 2018

Dear Doc: Help I'm in trouble!

Published:Sunday | January 3, 2016 | 12:00 AM

Q: Doc, could you help me in my hour of need? I am very scared that my girlfriend is going to tell my wife about our relationship. And if she does, I am sure that my spouse will go crazy and leave me!

Furthermore, my girlfriend says she is pregnant. Do you think she could be lying, so as to get me to marry her?

I have been pretty happily married to my wife for around seven years, but 18 months ago, I have been seeing this younger woman in Spanish Town. She is very sexy, and for a short while I thought about divorcing my wife and marrying her. That was in November.

I am not sure, but I vaguely remember that one night when I was in bed with my girlfriend, I said something like 'It would be great to be married to you.' I think she may have taken it the wrong way.

Well, about a week ago she announced that she was pregnant. I was very surprised because I usually use a condom when I am having sex with her. I tried to make it clear to her that I did not think I was the father. That seemed to kind of disturb and distress her. So in the last few days, she has been calling me and saying that I have 'used' her and 'taken her for a ride'. I cannot understand this at all.

The latest thing is that I had a text from her yesterday, in which she threatened to tell my wife about our relationship. That came like a hammer blow, Doc! I have been sick with worry.

My spouse is a very emotional woman, with a hot temper and a tendency towards violence. I am sure that if she found out about my girlfriend, she would beat her. The last time she got jealous - which was around five years ago, she waved a sharp knife at me, and looked as though she was willing to use it!

Finally, one good thing has happened a couple of moments ago, Doc. Just as I was about to send this email off to you, I got a text from my girlfriend, saying that the pregnancy was a 'false alarm.' Is that possible?

AI have heard stories like yours so often. A man who has a good, steady marriage decides to have a little fun elsewhere. He completely fails to see the possible dangers of his infidelity.

And, in particular, he fails to realise that his new girlfriend may feel 'used' or 'taken for a ride' because of the fact that the husband is obviously going to stay with his wife. That is precisely what has happened here.

Now, let us deal with this matter of your girlfriend's alleged pregnancy. Despite the fact that you usually wear a condom while having sex with her, one of your sperms certainly could have got inside her and fertilised an egg (an ovum). Condoms are not 100 per cent effective, you know - especially when you don't use them every single time!

But now it appears that your girlfriend has just decided that it was all a 'false alarm.' It is perfectly possible! Women's menses are sometimes irregular - especially when they are upset or worried. I have very often dealt with cases where a worried woman thought she had conceived, but then her period arrives.

So the current situation is that your girlfriend is not pregnant, but is threatening to inform your wife that you have been cheating. A real crisis!

What should you do now? My advice is as follows:

1. Bring your relationship with the Spanish Town girlfriend to an end immediately. That may seem unkind. But it will prevent a lot of trouble in the future - probably including further pregnancy scares!

2. Ask her not to talk to your wife. This probably won't work, but it is worth a try.

3. In view of the likelihood that the St Catherine lady will 'spill the beans' to your spouse, I feel that you should move with some haste and tell your wife that you are very sorry, but you have been cheating on her.

This will most likely provoke a serious fuss. Maybe you should stand way back in case she starts waving a knife again!

But I feel that your best course is sincere repentance - coupled with a sincere apology. And if you really want to keep this marriage going, do not cheat again.


Is there a female-hormone cream?

Q: Sex with my lover has recently been a little painful. So I got a check-up from a doctor, and she said that I am a little 'dry' because of a lack of female hormones.

So she wants to prescribe me some hormone stuff. But Doc, I don't really want to take tablets. Is it true that there is some hormone cream that I could use, in my vagina?

A: Yes, there are several female hormone creams which you could use inside your vagina. And there are also some vaginal tablets (known as 'pessaries') containing hormones. All of these are 'prescription-only.'

In women who have a hormone deficiency, these medications usually restore the condition of the walls of the vagina, making them far less dry, eliminating the discomfort, making intercourse much more pleasant.


Overdosed on Viagra

Q: I accidentally took two Viagra pills yesterday instead of one. Will this cause me any harm, doc?

A: No, it won't, but you should be careful not to make this happen again. In all probability, you got a very good erection, and you may have experienced some blue discolouration of your vision. But there should be no long-term damage to your health.


Does the Pill increase sex drive?

Q: Is it true that the Pill increases a woman's interest in sex, Doc? To be quite honest, I am already quite active and not sure that I could cope with increased desire!

A: Well, the oral contraceptive usually makes very little difference to the average woman's sexual feelings.

Nevertheless, recent research does indicate that around 22 per cent of patients have slightly increased sexual desire - while about 15 per cent experience lessened libido.

A good rule is that if a particular brand of Pill seems to turn you off sex, then ask your doctor to switch you to a next one.


Do I have an STD?

Q: Doc, I am a 30-year-old man, and I have not had a lot of sex. But when I was in New York earlier this month, I had an unusual sexual encounter.

Now I have a lot of blisters on the shaft and head of my penis. They hurt a bit. What is going on?

A: I am not sure if this 'unusual sexual encounter' was with a woman or a man. Either way, sounds very much as though you have picked up herpes. Herpes is a viral infection, passed on from any kind of sexual contact, whether vaginal, oral or rectal.

So you must see a doctor right away, and get these blisters diagnosed and treated. You should also have tests for other sexual diseases, which you may have caught in the same 'encounter.'