Sun | Aug 20, 2017

I was given to the wrong father

Published:Sunday | January 31, 2016 | 1:00 AMCathy Risden

Five years ago, 32-year-old Ahon Forbes* found out that the man he has been calling 'Daddy' for the past 27 years was not his biological father.

Forbes tells Outlook that when he was about 10 years old, his aunt told him that the man he thought was his father was not his biological father, but it wasn't a statement he took seriously, especially since it was not coming from his mother.

How it was revealed to him was even more shocking. "I was in one of our back rooms when my mother blurted out, 'Karl a nuh yuh fada' I said to myself, 'What!' My whole world was turned upside down. I felt so angry, confused and lost. It was like all the air got sucked out the room," Forbes confessed. His mind was in such turmoil, he couldn't ask her any questions.

"She just shock me. I got it head on, just like that," he added.

He noted that what made it worst was that she waited so long. "It's like she waited until she thought she was going to die - It's like she said, 'All right then I am going to tell him and I don't have to deal with it'," Forbes told Outlook, of his mother who was ailing at the time.

Forbes immediately began to wonder who he was and who he was supposed to be. But for some strange reason, during his confusion, he felt a bit of relief. "From a tender age, there was always this feeling that I didn't belong to this family. I didn't know where it was coming from, I just had that feeling. I had dreams that another family came and took me away from my family. Somehow it answered a lot of questions," Forbes confessed.

He recalls that there was always a favouritism towards his other brothers. "You know, I thought it was just a simple liking for one son than the other and so I didn't take it as anything," Forbes noted.

Lost of Trust

Forbes said that later his mother explained that things were not going well with the man who raised him, so they separated for a while. "So apparently my mother entered another relationship and got pregnant. She said she didn't want to raise me as a single mother so she went back to him and he was willing to raise me as his own," Forbes explained.

Forbes told Outlook that his mother was his comforter and his world. With the shocking news, that was not the case anymore. "I was there for her financially and would put her needs above mine. But now I am doing me," Forbes confessed. He continued, "This life-changing confession has opened my feelings more to give other women that role in my life. I love my mother, but the trust is not there anymore and I am not going to devote my life to her. The love is now shared love," Forbes noted.

"I know why they did it, and I understand, but still. I felt like I was robbed of the bond that I could have built with my right family. I don't know if they would want me, but still (she) could have given me the opportunity," Forbes confessed.

My real father

Forbes said his mother got in touch with his biological father who lived in the United States. His father also had a daughter who lived with him in the states and was searching for her brother as well. "We found each other on Facebook and from there we arranged to meet," Forbes explained.

Not long after, Forbes' real father and sister visited Jamaica to meet him and did a DNA test and the results confirmed who his real biological father was.

Now he is meeting other members of his father's family. "I met some cousins at a wedding recently. They live in the area where my biological father is from and, thank God, I never thought about dating anyone from that area. But as a child, what if I did?" Forbes pondered.

Forbes said that he commends the man who raised him. "Knowing what he did has drawn me closer than ever to him. I am not his son, but I felt a lot like I was his real son. He treated me less than his real son, but somewhat equal. He sent him to school," Forbes confessed.

Through it all, Forbes told Outlook that he was lucky to be alive because his mother could have aborted him but she didn't. He also never had to live with the feeling of neglect by his biological father.

Today, Forbes said he is delighted to have two fathers, two more sisters and nephews.

Now that the truth is out, he tells Outlook, "I am planning to keep my last name or adding my new biological name - my name would be a very long Ahon David Forbes-Chambers and my future wife's initials will be KFC," Forbes laughed.

LOOK OUT FOR PART TWO NEXT WEEK

cathy.risden@gleanerjm.com