Fri | Oct 20, 2017

I gave my baby to another man

Published:Sunday | February 14, 2016 | 12:00 AMCathy Risden

Two weeks ago (January 31), we shared the story of 32-year-old Ahon Forbes who found out five years ago, that the man he thought was his biological father wasn't. This week his mother, Miss Anna,* tells Outlook her side of the story.

READ: I Was Given To The Wrong Father Pt 2

She recalls that 32 years ago when she was having problems with her now husband Karl, she got pregnant for another man-Lester*. When she told him that she was pregnant, his response left her rejected and confused, 'a two fada yuh waah fi yuh baby?' was his retort.

Miss Anna said she immediately began seeking other alternatives, and the best one that was available to her was to go back to Karl. "I told him that I was pregnant and the baby wasn't his. He said he would take the baby, hoping for a girl."

Miss Anna who had another son with Karl, said she was happy and relieved to know she did not have to raise her fifth child alone. "After experiencing three pregnancies and having to struggle to make ends meet, it was hard for me to let my last baby go through that struggle," Miss Anna shared.

When she gave birth, Lester visited the hospital to see the baby. "I could have given him his name, but he didn't say anything to me regarding the baby, so I had no choice but to give him Karl's name. He (Karl) was there for me and the baby."

Her child's biological father lived in the same area and she knew him before her husband. Miss Anna told Outlook, that he came up to her a few times asking if she was not going to tell Ahon that he was his father. "I told him no because he still wasn't taking care of him and I didn't want to hurt my husband who was taking good care of my son," she noted.

 

Others knew

There were a few occasions where her son was told that he didn't belong to Karl-the man he called 'Daddy'. "I was away in England and when I came back I heard that my husband beat Ahon and told him to go look for his real father. I was so upset that I spoke to him about it," Miss Anna shared.

She recalled another incident during a dispute between her niece and her husband, her niece told him that he is taking care of a child that wasn't his. "She went as far as to tell Ahon that my husband wasn't his father. That was not her place and I was upset about it," Miss Anna explained.

 

Lifted Burden

She said that her attempts to confess to her son led to constant failure each time she tried. "I didn't want to hurt my husband again. But when I realised that I might die, I had to think about my son. I didn't want to die and he didn't hear it from me," Miss Anna confessed.

"It is not easy having a man raise your son as his own and then just like that tell the child he is not his. I didn't know my son would have taken it this hard to the point where we no longer have that close relationship that we used to," she added.

Until this day, Miss Anna says she doesn't regret telling her son, and thanks God she is alive to deal with the consequences because she is aware that she might have made some mistakes.

She said she would have eventually told him, even if she was not ailing. "I definitely didn't purposely wait until I thought I was dying to tell him. I just didn't want to pass on without him knowing," She explained.

Now she is waiting and praying daily for him to visit as often as he used to. "I miss him. I miss how we used to have long conversations and go places together. He leaves the island next month and won't return until November. I just hope God spares my life to see him when he gets back and our broken relationship can be mended. I love my son very much."

cathy.risden@gleanerjm.com