Sat | Sep 23, 2017

A Florida gang bang

Published:Sunday | February 21, 2016 | 2:00 AM

Q: Good day. Doc, I would like your advice about my husband. I love him, and he has always said he loves me. I thought he would never cheat on me.

But he has just told me the truth about what happened when he and his sports team went to Florida last summer. I knew it was a kind of 'fun adventure for boys', but I thought it would only involve drinking and singing, and stuff like that.

However, it appears I was wrong. He told me that on their last night in Miami, the guys all signed up for something called a 'Florida Gang Bang'.

Apparently, this is some sort of 'tourist' thing. And what happens is that all the men arrive at a big garden or courtyard. Then a pretty woman is brought in. She takes off her clothes and lies down on a couch or platform. And for the next hour, the guys are allowed to have sex with her.

I said to him: 'But surely you didn't do that?' And then he admitted to me that he had. He said that about 10 of the other guys had done it before he felt 'courageous' enough to try. And it seems like he 'went all the way' - as almost all of his friends did.

Doc, I just cannot believe his stupidity. He told me about this escapade with a grin, as though he hoped I would find it funny. But I don't.

His claim now is that he 'wasn't really cheating' on me. He keeps saying: 'but it was just a gang bang, honey' as though that excused his behaviour.

What do you think I should do, Doctor? From the night he told me, I have not allowed him to have sex with me.

A: Very wise of you. You may just possibly have saved yourself from getting VD.

I do wonder why he suddenly decided to tell you. Perhaps he had discovered some symptoms of infection? Or maybe he feared that you were about to find out about what happened. Perhaps because somebody's wife or girlfriend had discovered the truth about the Florida trip, and was about to 'spill the beans'.

These dreadful 'gang bang parties' have become real common in various tourist spots around the world. There are cities in Europe where the organisers line up some poor girl, and then tell 'stag parties' of 25 or more guys that they may 'do whatever they like with her'.

Obviously, the 'vice barons' can make a great deal of money from this activity, because the cost of hiring one young woman for the night is fairly small; whereas the 'entry fees' for 25 or 30 guys will add up to a lot of cash.

In recent years, 'gang bang' tourist events have spread to various places like Miami, Tampa and Orlando. Indeed, if you just tap the words 'Florida Gang Bang' into Google, you will be offered an alarming total of 2,800,000 websites.

So that's what your husband and his pals got themselves into. I must say that from a medical point of view, it sounds like a wildly unhygienic experience. The unfortunate young woman who was the 'centrepiece' of the function had apparently had 10 guys penetrate her before your husband did it. My guess is that by the time he started 'sexing' her, she may already have been packed full of germs.

So I think that the first thing you should do is insist that your spouse goes to a doctor or clinic to have full testing for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including gonorrhoea and chlamydia.

In addition, I think it would be wise for him have a blood test for HIV, of which there is quite a bit in the southern states of the USA.

Regrettably, we have to remember the fact that since your spouse came home from Florida, the two of you have presumably had sex together. Therefore, you also should have the tests.

Finally, he says that he 'hasn't cheated on you.' But of course, he has. If you decided to divorce him, the court would bear that fact in mind.

Nevertheless, you say that you love each other, and so I hope you will be able to keep this marriage going. However, please make your man understand that there must be no more of this foolishness in future!

Q:I am a young man in my early 30s. I exercise regularly, and I don't abuse my body with any form of substance.

So why does it take me so long to get a second erection, after having sex once?

It's making my girlfriend and I frustrated.

Is there any over-the-counter drug I can take?

 

A: Well, what you have not realised is that as you get older, there is a slow but definite increase in what is called 'the recovery time' or 'the refractory period' - the time between having an orgasm and being able to get a good enough erection to 'do it' again.

And though you are only in your early 30s, your 'recovery time' is almost bound to be longer than it was when you were younger.

You see, many young guys in their teens are able to orgasm twice in an hour without difficulty. But rather fewer men in their 20s can do that. And even fewer can do it in their 30s.

Furthermore, that ability is quite rare in the over-40s.

So it is not at all surprising that you cannot 'recover' as quickly as you did when you were younger. You haven't quoted me any actual times, in hours and minutes. But if you'd like to write to me again with those details, I will try to advise you.

However, my forecast is that you are actually normal, and that what you have noticed is a normal consequence of being in your 30s.

Finally, I am afraid that there is no over-the-counter remedy. Sorry.

Q: Doctor, I am 35 and still taking the Pill! I really need this for my sex life. And my doctor says the risk is small.

But I am aware that the Pill can cause serious clots in women of my age. How would I know if I had one?

 

A: The possible symptoms of a thrombosis (a clot) caused from the Pill are as follows:

• Severe pain in the calf of the leg, often with swelling;

• Sudden, unexplained pain in the chest, sometimes with spitting up of blood;

• Sudden mental confusion, sometimes with paralysis of one side of the body.

If you are ever in the slightest doubt as to whether you have suffered a thrombosis, then stop taking the Pill and go immediately to a doctor or a hospital.

Q: My wife insists that I wash my hands and private parts before I have sex with her. But is this really necessary, Doctor?

 

A: Well, it is not a bad idea, since it would help to prevent germs from getting into the vagina.

As you probably know, the hands do carry a lot of germs, particularly after a day's work. And you might well have a few germs on the penis. So I think your wife has a point.

deardoctor@gleanerjm.com