Dear Doc: Should I get my clitoris pierced?
Q: I am a 32-year-old divorcee, and I'm about to go and stay with my sister in New York.
She has told me in confidence that in Brooklyn there is a little tattoo shop where the operator is willing to put a silver ring through your clitoris - she has one herself.
So do you think I should go ahead and get one?
A: In one word - NO! Quite a lot of women in America and England have had this little operation done. Presumably, they just liked the idea of having a piece of jewellery in their clitoris. Some thought it would help their sex lives, but in fact, the ring does not do that.
From a medical point of view, I have the following concerns about the idea of someone making a hole in the clitoris and sticking a ring through it:
* You might bleed a lot;
* You might catch an infection;
* You might be allergic to the metal;
* Because the clitoris is a very delicate structure, the operation might interfere with its sensitivity.
So whatever your sister thinks, I don't feel that you should go ahead with this.
No sex before marriage has me concerned
Q: Doc, I am an older man who has fallen deeply in love with a younger woman.
She says that she loves me too, but I would like to know if sexually, things will be OK between us. You see, although we have kissed and cuddled a lot, we have not yet had sex. She does not want to have intercourse until we are married.
I am a widower as my wife passed away almost 10 years ago, and since then, I have had very little sex, except with 'professional' women when I am away on business.
So I am rather worried about whether I can satisfy a young woman who is half my age, and make her happy. Could I 'do it' frequently enough for her needs?
I have heard that if an older man has sex with an exciting young woman, there is a risk that he could have a heart attack. Is that true?
A: Well, I don't know exactly how old either of you are. But these days, there are certainly many happy and successful marriages where the man is 20 or 30 years older than the woman. Interestingly, there are also some good marriages in which the woman is much older than the man.
So, let me try and deal with some of your sexual concerns:
* An older man will not be able to have sex as often as a younger man could.
* Nevertheless, many men who are middle-age or even elderly, can manage to have intercourse two or even three times for the week.
* If necessary, an older man can be helped by Viagra (or similar medications) to get an erection.
* One advantage which an older man has, is that he is often able to last a lot longer than a younger one - because he has better 'control' and, therefore, doesn't orgasm too soon! For that reason, some women actually prefer more mature lovers.
Now you ask me about the risk of having a heart attack while enjoying sex with your young woman, and fortunately for you, this is incredibly rare - so rare that I have never seen such a case. Nevertheless, if you are worried about the effects of sex on your heart, I recommend that you have a good check-up by a doctor - to make sure that you are in reasonable physical shape.
Finally, I am slightly concerned about the fact that in recent years, you have been with women of the night while on business trips abroad. I expect you are aware that these 'professionals' have a higher-than-average rate of sexually-transmitted infections. Therefore, I feel that you should get yourself tested for STIs before you commit to matrimony. I wish you well.
Frequent urination a problem
Q: Doc, I am getting up four-five times for the night to urinate. Do you think this could be a problem with my prostate? And is it cancer?
A: You almost certainly do have a problem with an enlarged prostate. But most prostate problems are benign - that is, non-cancerous.
However, you should see a doctor this week. You must have a rectal examination, and also a blood test. Don't delay.
Sexual problems affecting marriage
Q: My husband of seven years and I are now having a serious sexual problem, and it doesn't look as if it will go away. He does not seem to believe that I am satisfied with him making love to me - and that I do not need another man.
He has committed adultery himself. I love him, but he is a snake and I will never be able to trust him, as I feel he is still having affairs. One of his girlfriends has recently had a child for him, but he claims that it was just supposed to be a fling - nothing serious.
I am also afraid of the fact that, with me, he takes off the condom in the middle of the 'action,' saying that he 'isn't feeling what he wants'. I bet he does this with the other women too.
A: I suspect he does. He just wants to go on having sex wherever he can. Sounds like he may have been suggesting that you should have affairs too.
This doesn't really strike me as a marriage in the normal sense. I think you should get some marital counselling, or have a talk with a pastor. But I am afraid that this is all heading towards 'Divorceville'.
Also, his conduct may well have exposed you to STIs. Please get a medical check-up - including vaginal swabs for the lab to test. I wish you well in an unhappy situation.
How do I get rid of my penis tatoo?
Q: Years ago in Panama, when I was working as a sailor, I had a tattoo done on my penis. It included a girl's name.
I am no longer with that particular girl, but I have met a wonderful woman in Kingston, and would like to marry her. She has not seen the tattoo, because I try to keep the bedroom light turned down.
My problem is that I would like that unfortunate tattoo removed now. Could an ordinary doctor cut it out for me?
A: I am afraid not. And if anything went wrong, you could lose your penis!
Really, you need to consult a plastic surgeon who can advise you whether it is possible to remove the tattoo. That would probably involve taking a skin graft from some other part of your body.
It does occur to me that maybe the surgeon could just alter the tattoo, so as to change the name of your former girlfriend to that of your new partner. But if you took this course, you had better be sure that you are going to stay with her for life!
One final point: putting a skin graft into your penis might possibly alter the organ's sensitivity - and therefore your sexual response. Talk this over with the surgeon/specialist before you decide on the operation.