Tue | Aug 14, 2018

Dear Doc: Bedding two guys ... can it last?

Published:Sunday | April 10, 2016 | 11:10 PM

Q: Good day doc. I would like your advice about my sexual lifestyle. It is a little unorthodox.

I am a 34-year-old female in a high-profile job. I suppose that you could say I am pretty successful. I have never been married, but I have taken lovers from time to time.

For the last two years, I have been in an unusual but quite satisfying situation. You see, doc, I have two houses -- one in St Andrew and one near Oracabessa. Basically, in each house I have a guy.

I live for about half the month in the house on the north coast, and half in the corporate area. When I am in the first house, I always spend the night with my 'north coast lover.' And when I am in St Andrew, I sleep with my 'Kingston guy.'

Both are pretty good in bed. The one in boyfriends are good when they are 'in the sack' with me. The Oracabessa one is very physical and powerful, while the St Andrew guy is more intellectual and witty -- and great company! They do not know of each other's existence.

I am on the Mini-Pill, so I guess I won't get pregnant by either men. I am very happy with this arrangement and don't want to change it. Only a few of my girlfriends know about it.

But from your experience, do you think I can make it last? Are any problems likely to arise? And should I tell the two guys about each other's existence?

A: I do not think you should show this particular issue of the Outlook to either of your two gentlemen friends!

I have seen several instances where a person managed to maintain two totally separate 'sexual households.' In most cases it is the guys who have the two homes -- with a woman in each.

But I do recall a case in which a rich businesswoman managed to 'run' two homes, one in France and one in America -- each with a live-in 'husband.' She got along with both of them very well. Of course it is a lot easier if the guys are in different countries.

But in your case, the men are less than two hours away. You must accept the fact that one day they may accidentally meet up!

It is very likely that one of them will find out about the other perhaps through a friend or through seeing your postal correspondence. Also, I note that you have told 'a few' of your girlfriends about your situation. I cannot say that this was wise, after all, most people like to gossip.

It is not for me to discuss the morality of your situation. But I would point out that each of these men is on their own for half the month. It would not be very surprising if one or both of them decided to seek female company while you are away! And if he picks up (say) chlamydia or gonorrhoea from a young woman, then I am afraid that probably you are going to get it.

Also, please bear in mind that the Mini-Pill is not 100 per cent effective. And you are at an age when you are still very fertile. So it would not be too astonishing if you got pregnant by one of your lovers.

Finally, you ask me if you should tell the men about each other's existence. I really would not recommend that. Although some men can accept the idea of 'sharing' a woman., most can't. The majority of men get extremely upset when they find out that a partner is having sex with somebody else. Some even resort to violence.

I do not feel that your 'arrangement' can last for ever. But I wish good luck to all three of you.


Q: Hi, doc. I am feeling that I now need a little help from Viagra. I can see where the tablets are for sale on the Internet.

Should I buy them?

A: No! You are clearly not aware that there have been all sorts of 'Internet swindles' involving fake Viagra.

In the United States and England, a number of con artists have been arrested and imprisoned for selling bogus Viagra pills via the Internet. That is a cruel trick to play on the poor consumers. Don't let it happen to you!

If you feel you need Viagra, the best thing is to go to a doctor and discuss it with them. That way, you can be sure that you are getting the real medication.

Also, the doctor can tell you whether there is any health reason why you shouldn't use Viagra.

Finally, the doctor may be able to discover some medical reason why you are having erectile problems. Good luck


Q: Last Tuesday, I went to bed with a man from Port Antonio. It was great at the time, but now I have a thick, white discharge. And it is very itchy, doc.

What is the problem? And did I get it from the Port Antonio guy?

A: Statistically, the biggest probability is that you have vaginal yeast. As you probably know, this is very common. It is caused from a nasty little fungus, also known as 'candida' or 'thrush.'

I cannot honestly say whether you got it from the man from Port Antonio. Doctors don't entirely understand why yeast suddenly decides to flare up in women. Often, it just arrives for no obvious reason.

But what is pretty certain is that you need some treatment. I would advise that you start by going to a pharmacy and asking for some 'anti-yeast medication.' Please try that for a week or so.

If the treatment doesn't work within seven days, you must go to a doctor. The doctor will advise you as to whether this really is yeast, and will give you a prescription.

Oh yes -- and please don't have any sex until this problem has been cured!


Q: Doc, my girlfriend -- who is quite a bit younger than I am, claims that she can only orgasm if she is given cunnilingus.

Is this possible? And should I go ahead and do it for her?

A: Well, provided it is skillfully performed, oral sex (cunnilingus) does provide women with very intense erotic sensations in the clitoral area. For that reason, quite a number of women find that it almost always guarantees an orgasm.

So if you are happy about doing cunnilingus, I see no reason why you should not 'oblige' her. It may well be that as she gets older, she learns to climax in other ways.


Q: Doctor, I find that ordinary condoms are too big for me. Is it possible to buy smaller ones?

A: Yes, that is quite easy these days. Just type the words 'buy small condoms' into Google, and you will be offered at least a half-million sites. Many of them are very eager to sell you condoms which will actually fit you snugly.