Tue | Sep 26, 2017

How Motherhood Changed Me

Published:Sunday | May 8, 2016 | 5:00 AMKimberly Goodall and Krysta Anderson
Shanique Palmer and her daughter Kate.
Maria Hitchins with daughters Milan and Milah
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When you become a mother, it's safe to say you expect certain changes - less sleep, less free-time, etc. But what you may not anticipate is all the changes you experience from deep within. Who would have thought that the little human you brought into the world would transform you into a whole new being?

So, in honour of super moms everywhere, we asked a few of our mothers to share with us how motherhood changed them.

Motherhood has made me change the way I love and show love. I learnt to be more patient and understanding; to be a strategist in coming up with ideal punishments without having to hit my child.

I have also learnt how to hide my frustrations from my child, and to be more responsible because I'm a mom and I'm accountable for someone else who is depending on me. A part of being a mom or parent is about sacrificing for the greater good of your child, so I stopped doing my nails and buying a new pair of shoes every month to save for my son and his future endeavours.

But, most of all, I've learnt how to take the good things I had learnt from my mother and father and pass them on to my son. The bad things, I try my best to shield him from, and not make the same mistakes like my parents did with my siblings and me.

Motherhood is a learning ground; it's school all over again but I don't know everything so I still need my own mom. I also need the church because they too help me raise my son.

- H.E., mother of one

 

Motherhood has basically turned me inside out, in a good way. I've learnt what it really means to love someone unconditionally, and to put that person's needs above my own. I've learnt to let go of some things, whether physical items or emotional baggage because they weigh you down and you're not able to give your children the emotional and financial support that they need. Motherhood has made a better me.

- S.C., mother of two

Motherhood has changed my life physically and most of all emotionally. After giving birth, my brain started to speed up and work overtime. My body gets tired because of sleepless nights and extra-fast meals. My leisure time has been taken up attending to my child. But emotionally, I have grown to love differently and understand life more meaningfully.

- C.J., mother of one

Motherhood has given me a new outlook on life. When I saw my son for the first time, I couldn't believe I had brought this little person into the world and he was now my responsibility. I am more patient, calmer and I definitely think before acting. I am more driven and goal-oriented, and I try to make positive choices that will not only teach him how to be a better person, but contribute to making the world a better place. At his age, he doesn't know about being unkind or rude, he doesn't see colour or race, he just sees another person as a potential friend. I grew up not having some things but would never change my childhood because I was taught to be humble.

- T.L., mother of one

Motherhood has taught me to love unconditionally, to be patient, and as a result I have become more grounded. Also, knowing that I have someone depending on me as well as looking up to me, I have become more consistent and determined in my quests. It taught me the true meaning of sacrifice too! Now, I stop and think about everything I say or do and how it will benefit or impact my child.

- C.P. mother of one

For me, impending motherhood (I'm due in June) has shown me just how strong I can be. In the past, if I was feeling sick or down, it would often be difficult for me to find the strength to power through a work day or the tasks at hand.

Now, my child has really become my biggest motivator and I've been able to find the fortitude to do things I never thought possible or manageable, and to bear all kinds of discomfort and pain without medical intervention (excepts where the latter may be dangerous for him). My pending motherhood has also shown me I have a greater capacity for love and nurturing.

- N.T., soon-to-be mother of one

My life was always purpose driven, but having two daughters has ramped that up ten folds. It's not only what I aim for in life, but now also how I can help them to best realise their future goals. Best of all, it has allowed me to put disappointing moments into perspective much faster by asking myself, 'are my kids safe, happy and healthy?'. And once the answer is yes, then I am having a blessed day. -M.H., mother of two

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love Carnival. I look forward to Carnival every year, and I revel until, literally, the last song plays as the season comes to a close.

This year, I marched up until I got to Waterloo Road where I had a fashion emergency and, as soon as it was resolved, I decided that rather than continuing, I'd just go home and be with my daughter because in that moment I missed her so much.

I now feel a different kind of tug on my heartstrings whenever I read some of the horrid news stories today. I can't read them the same way again. My love for her makes me look at the world differently, and I'd do everything within my power to make sure that her quality of life always supersedes mine.

- S.P., mother of one

Since becoming a mother I am not as selfish as I used to be. Now it's all about them and wanting to make a better life so that things can be easier for them than they were for me. There's no more party life but more work and improvements.

- J.M., mother of two

I know for sure that becoming a mother has definitely made me more grounded and think twice before I act. Overall, my outlook on life is different. I'm now more ambitious as I realise I have to put things in place for him. Also, I guess the whole nightlife thing has changed as well. The freedom to get up and go is no longer there. I have him to think about. I find that I really don't even want to do the nightlife anymore anyway. I love staying home with him. He fulfils me.

- S.C., mother of one

For me, motherhood has taught me how to appreciate my mother and I cannot wait for my daughter to become a mother so that I can laugh too!