Wed | Sep 20, 2017

As a Man | storm supplies for one

Published:Sunday | August 7, 2016 | 8:00 AMMelville Cooke
Shoppers doing last minute shopping before a hurricane.

So there I was at a supermarket in Liguanea last Tuesday night, getting my storm supplies. It was a swift operation and, heading to the cashier, I looked down at the trolley I was pushing, at what I going to pay for and nearly burst into laughter.

It was so little - three small tins of mackerel, three tins of tuna, two packets of raw fish, a medium-size bottle of pineapple juice and a smaller fruit punch for now. That was it. I had oats and raisins at home, plus some bammy and a half pot of four-day-old cornmeal porridge in the fridge to heat up. Me nice!

Along with drinking water, that was all I needed to ride out a depression, a wave, or a storm (unless it has Gustav tendencies. That one was a brute.). A hurricane of categories three and up would require maybe a doubling of the quantities, but that was it.

 

LARGER PURCHASES

I looked at the trolleys of other persons and thought 'save for the grace of the family having taken flight', It would have been a totally different matter. Not only would the purchases be in much larger proportions, but there would also be a more diverse range of items in the shopping cart. So, being alone with an impending 'breeze blow' was wonderful on the financial front.

Truthfully, it was also blissful on the security, because you don't have anyone to worry about but yourself. As a man, it is the most natural thing to do (even if it is not required), to be thinking of all sorts of things that could happen and inventing scenarios for emergency and escape. Of course, in all the scenarios you are the undisputed hero who saves the day through a combination of brain and brawn.

On your own, you draw for a book and a blanket and wait. The rain comes, some wind comes, you shift under the blanket, smile and wait. Drop asleep, wake up and - nothing. A mild wind and trickles from the sky, but that is about it. You hiss your teeth and think well, at least I did not spend so much on food for the tempest.

 

NUFF 'TINNAS'

 

That makes being solo in the storm that never came so much better than having stocked up for a big family. It is a hell of a lot of 'tinnas' to eat, because there are not many options. Speaking of which, there should be a return clause for tinned food purchased for storms that 'tun back' or turn away. Yes, we should be able to pack them all up and carry them back to the supermarket for our cash in exchange or even store credit.

Is a whole heap a dutty gal oonu haffi go eat off now y'nuh. Me and my three tins - cho, that done in two days.

Speaking of riding out the storm, there is one version of that you can't do solo. Wink, wink. Snicker, snicker. Just saying.

melville.cooke@gleanerjm.com