Tue | Jul 17, 2018

Dear Doc | I had oral sex with an insurance salesman

Published:Sunday | September 25, 2016 | 12:00 AM

Q Doc, I am a wife and mother, and I have done the craziest thing.

One morning last week, I was feeling pretty tired and fed up with life. Then a young insurance salesman came to the front gate. He was handsome and charming, and I invited him in. I gave him some coffee, and we chatted for half-hour.

Well, Doc, I do not know how this happened, but I suspect it was because he complimented me a lot on my appearance, and said how pretty my dress was. My husband never does that! In fact, he hardly talks to me at all these days.

Anyway, he suddenly stepped across the room and kissed me. I found myself in his arms. And I am so embarrassed to admit this Doctor, but within around 10 minutes I was lying on my back and he was performing oral sex on me.

I know it was terrible. Fortunately, after a little while, I pulled myself together and told him he had to go and never come back! I even called his company and said I do not wish him to visit again.

Doctor, I don't really blame this man. I admit that a lot of the fault lies with me. I firmly believe that I will never do such a foolish thing again.

But because of your experience in these matters, I would like you to answer these questions for me:

- Why did I, as a respectable married woman, allow this crazy thing to happen?

- Is there any danger that the young salesman has given me any kind of disease?

A Well, first let us get the 'sex disease' thing out of the way.

Oral sex given by a man to a woman can sometimes transmit a sexually transmitted infection (STI). But that is not very common.

However, it is just possible that this young man was 'carrying' chlamydia or gonorrhoea in his throat. Honestly, I don't feel that is very likely.

Nevertheless, I think you would be wise to have an internal check-up from a doctor. Probably everything will be OK, and the doctor will tell you that you are fine.

Now, why on earth did you suddenly decide to give in to this man's advances? After all, you had only just met him!

Well, I think that the clue may lie in the fact that you say your husband never compliments you on your appearance, or says how nice your dress is. That is a big mistake for a man!

So, suddenly you were faced with a man who was telling you how great you looked and how pretty your dress was. That seems to have completely bowled you over.

Frankly, it is clear that your marriage is not in the best of shape. Very often, when wives 'go astray' it is because the marriage is in trouble, and the couple is not communicating.

I urge you to sit down with your spouse and start talking about the state of your marriage. Explain to him that you are not happy about his lack of appreciation for you. However, I do not feel that you have to tell him about that unfortunate episode with the salesman.

I suspect that you and your husband really need professional help from someone who is used to mending marriages. There are now Family Life Ministries and similar bodies which can be contacted via the Internet, and I think that you and your spouse should seriously consider seeking help from such an organisation. Good luck.


Can you contract cancer through sex?


Q There is a possibility that I am going to be diagnosed with cancer of the prostate. Doc, is it OK to continue having sex with my wife?

I wouldn't like to give her cancer.

A As far as anyone knows, cancer cells from the prostate glands are not passed on to the female during sex. Please take advice from the doctor or surgeon who is supervising your case.


My son looks nothing like me


Q My wife gave birth to a son 10 years ago. But Doc, he looks nothing like me!

How easy would it be to do DNA tests to determine whether I am the real father?

A Well, technically it would be quite easy, even though it would cost you some money. There are clinics in Kingston which offers results in three to five days.

However, having your family do a DNA test would cause some upheaval in your marriage. Remember, your spouse might react very badly.

Think very hard before you take this step.


Which erection medication is better?


Q Doc, I need some help with my erection. Which medication is better - Viagra or Cialis?

A Really, Viagra (sildenafil) and Cialis (tadalafil) are almost equal in producing erections.

But the big difference between them is that Cialis lasts much longer than Viagra. Very often, their effect will last for some hours, or even a day.


Can herbal medications interfere with the morning-after Pill?


Q I take a herbal medication called St John's Wort. Is it true that it can interfere with the morning-after Pill?

A Yes. There is a group of medications that are a little risky when taking contraception, because they can reduce the effects of the morning-after Pill.

These medications are called enzyme inducers or CYP3A4-inducers. They include:

• St John's wort

• Many anticonvulsants (for epilepsy)

• Certain drugs for tuberculosis

• Some antivirus drugs (for HIV)

• Some anti-fungals, like griseofulvin.

If you are on any of these things, you might need to have a double dose of the morning-after Pill. Be guided by the doctor who prescribes it for you.


Can too many orgasms hurt me?


Q Doc, I have met a fabulous new man. I think I love him, and may marry him. Last night we had amazing sex, and I orgasmed about 20 times. I cannot believe it!

Will this hurt me?

A No. No matter how many orgasms a woman has, that will not harm her health. Good luck with your new relationship.


Can the contraceptive skin patch harm me?


Q Doc, my wife has been advised to start on some sort of 'contraceptive skin patch.' But could the female hormones in it affect me?

A The contraceptive skin patch is known as Evra. It is very much like the Pill, but in the form of a skin patch.

The woman has to stick a patch on her skin, keep it there for a week, then replace it with a new one. She does this for three weeks, then takes a week's break.

She must put the patch on an area of clean, non-hairy skin, such as the buttocks, or the upper arm, or the belly, or the upper part of the torso, but not on the breasts. It works real well.

Fortunately, there is no evidence that the female hormones in the patch can get transferred to the woman's partner - unless he is crazy enough to stick it on himself!


Can I have sex while pregnant?


Q Doc, I am pregnant for the first time. Is it OK to continue having sex with my husband?

A Generally speaking, it is OK to continue having sex during pregnancy, unless your doctor or midwife advises against it.