The seven Verbs Of Successful Parenting
Parenting is a challenge. Yet it is one of the responsibilities that produces the greatest level of guilt when we mess up. Also, ineffective parenting has long-lasting repercussions within the family and for the wider society.
Today, I share seven verbs that are essential for successful parenting.
Bringing someone into the world is an important event. This should not take place by chance. There are many ways to control when you enter into parenthood, including abstinence. Do not enter into parenthood carelessly or without thought. Also, do not underestimate the power of sexual desire. Take steps to prevent unplanned pregnancies.
Another consideration is that bearing and raising a child is a complex matter that requires structured preparation. Good parents are faced with more than 25 years of assuming primary responsibility for the growth and development of their children. This is not an overnight thing!
Parents are required to provide for their children. The fact that so many parents are failing to live up to this responsibility is an indication that enough thought and preparation are not being put in before entering into parenthood.
Provision for your children includes more than food, shelter, and clothing. You also need to provide an environment in which they can bring their dreams and hopes to reality. Too much responsibility for caring for children is placed on grandparents. We thank God that these stalwarts step in to take care of the responsibilities that have been neglected by parents.
Your role as parent includes motivating your children to be the best that they can be. This includes opening their eyes to career alternatives and providing firm guidance to achieve their goals. Children do not always have their priorities in the right order. Parents need to use their experience and knowledge to guide their children on paths that lead to success. Conduct research. Ask questions. Be better informed.
Another responsibility is protecting your children. We are living in dangerous times. Regrettably, children are not excluded from the risk of violence and abuse. Unfortunately, abuse is often inflicted by family members and persons who are placed in positions of trust. Today's parent needs to be vigilant and open-minded. Be aware of where your children are and be careful about who has access to them.
It is also very important that you make it easy for your children to share everything with you. They must feel comfortable telling you what is happening to them, what they did or did not do and listen with an open-mind. Do not just dismiss what they tell you - investigate.
Protection goes beyond violence and physical abuse. You also have to protect your child's mind.
Protect them from information and people who will corrupt their minds. Screen what they watch on television, and take time to know their friends. Let your house be the place where the friends hang out.
Children need to be disciplined. This discipline is not to take out your anger on them. Taking out vengeance for the broken vase is not helpful or healthy for the child's development that is abuse.
The objective is to lovingly point out their errors and to encourage them to do the right thing in the future. Understanding and forgiveness are essential to carrying out this kind of discipline.
Be proud of your children and let them know it. Praise them frequently especially when they do the right things. Catching your children doing the right thing instead of only correcting them is a powerful way to get them to modify their behaviour.
Your children are like an 'enterprise'. Get involved in opening opportunities for them. Expose them to people, work out strategies for them to succeed in their chosen field and promote them at every opportunity.
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• Trevor E. S. Smith is a behaviour modification coach with the Success with People Academy, Extended DISC/FinxS.