Dear Doc | Am I drying up and shrinking?
Q Doc something terrible has happened to me after a party,
I am divorced, and in my early 30s. Last month, I was at this party and I met a man with whom I went to school. In my teenage years, he was my boyfriend briefly. I remember dumping him when I was 16 years old, and that he was very upset. There was a story at the time that he had attempted suicide because I had gone off with some other boy.
However, at this party last month, we got along very well. We danced and laughed a lot at memories of our school days. Around midnight, I invited him back to my place for coffee. You can guess how things went - we were kissing and cuddling, and eventually we went into my bedroom.
He was still in great physical shape, and I felt that I was looking pretty good too. Certainly, he seemed to find me attractive, judging by his erection. So within a few minutes, I was lying on my back.
Doctor, that was when things suddenly went wrong. He seemed to be trying to get in, but then he said to me, 'No, I can't manage it.' I asked, 'Why not?' And he answered: 'Because you're all dry and shrunk up!'
I was horrified by this comment! I started crying, and made him put on his clothes and leave. From then, I have not spoken to him. But it seemed obvious that there was something wrong with my vagina, which had prevented him from having sex with me.
The following week, I went to a doctor and had an examination. He told me that I was 'a little dry'. I suppose that doesn't sound too bad. But it confirmed my worst fears - I feel it is obvious that my vagina is drying up and shrinking, and that I will never be able to have sex again.
Can you help me, Doc?
A Well, there are several possibilities here.
My first thought is that maybe this guy lost his erection, and in order to spare his embarrassment, he decided to blame the problem on you!
Another possibility is that he has resented you ever since you 'ditched' him when you were teenagers. Perhaps telling you that you were 'all dry and shrunk up' was his wicked way of taking revenge. People who feel that they have been scorned sometimes do nasty things like that.
Now, turning to your visit to the doctor, all he said was that you were 'a little dry' that day. One would not expect a woman to be very moist while she was having an internal examination. And the doctor did not say that your vagina was 'shrunken' or that there was any anatomical abnormality.
Frankly, I doubt that there is anything wrong with you. As far as I can see, it will be years before you reach menopause, so there is no reason to think that your hormone levels are low.
What I would recommend is that you go and see a gynaecologist or even a female doctor. She will examine you and probably do some tests. I am very hopeful that she will be able to tell you that all is well. If by any chance she feels that you would have a slight tendency towards vaginal dryness in a future sexual situation, then she would prescribe either a lubricant or a moisturiser. I am sure that would make everything OK!
One final piece of advice - a lot of women make the mistake of using soap (or soapy water) just inside the vagina. That is not a good idea, as it can lead to dryness. Clean water is perfectly adequate for washing this area. You should also avoid perfumes and cosmetic products on your intimate parts.
I wish you well.
Will I loose my nature after circumcision?
Q Happy New Year doctor. If I had to take a circumcision, is there any chance it would make me lose my nature?
A None whatever. Circumcision is not known for causing erectile dysfunction (ED).
Will a diaphragm interrupt sex
Q A nurse friend of mine recommended that I get a contraceptive diaphragm. But would my man be able to feel it during sex?
A Not if it had been properly fitted. However, he would be aware of it if he touched you internally with his fingers.
Pubic hair and VD
Q Doc, I was thinking of shaving off my pubic hair, but I saw a news item which suggested that this makes a person more likely to get a VD.
Is that true?
A You are talking about a recent study from California. The researchers asked 7,600 people how often they 'groomed' their pubic hair. They also asked them if they had ever had a sexually-transmitted infection (STI).
The results were that people who did a lot of shaving or waxing, were more likely to report having had STIs.
Some have said that this means that removal of pubic hair creates 'nicks' in the skin through which germs could enter. But quite a few experts have pointed out that men and women who lead 'risky' sex lives are more likely to groom their pubic hair.
Also, there is a theory that people who get an STI are quite likely to shave after that experience - in an attempt to avoid further infections. So the jury is still very out on this one.
What about the vaginal ring?
Q I urgently need some contraception, because my man is coming back to Jamaica soon. How good is that 'vaginal ring' thing?
A The vaginal contraceptive ring (NuvaRing) is very effective - nearly as effective as the Pill.
It is a small, flexible ring which contains two hormones. You put it in your vagina for three weeks, then take it out. After a week, you insert another one. It is unlikely to interfere with sex.
Caution! Do not use NuvaRing if you are a smoker, or if you are over the age of 35. This is because of the fact that, like the Pill, it increases your risk of thrombosis.
Should I confess to cheating?
Q Should I tell my wife that on a visit to New York last month, I went with a woman who I think was a sort of 'call girl?'
Unfortunately, I now have a slight discharge from the tip of my penis, doc, and urination is a little painful.
A This indicates that you almost certainly have picked up some sort of sex infection in New York maybe chlamydia.
Therefore, I am afraid that I have to make two recommendations:
1. You must go to a doctor or clinic and get tested and treated;
2. You should also inform your wife. You see, if you have had sex with her since you came back, you have almost certainly infected her too! So she will also need diagnosis and treatment from a doctor.