A Mother's Space - Soul Detox
Reflecting on 2016, I have enjoyed some great moments, learnt from mistakes that I have made along the way, and have grown in my spiritual walk. I stayed away from toxic energy, and spent more time praying and meditating during challenging times.
Two thousand and sixteen was no walk in the park - but I came out a winner, and much stronger. In the past, I was more focused on the destination, losing some of life's learning experiences, blessings and enjoyment along the way. Today, I am more focused on the journey, living in the moment, overcoming detours, setbacks and bumpy rides by holding on to the rail of faith. Yes, I questioned God during challenging periods, yes, I crumbled and cried, and yes, I had my down moments like everyone else.
The new Marica, found better ways to handle it. My faith kept me going and during challenging periods, I wasn't afraid to let it all out and cry. During the month of December 2016, in my quest to detox my soul, I noted the three areas I wanted to improve for 2017, and maybe you can relate. I will be less self-centred, let go and forgive, and persevere harder in all that I do.
Be less self-centred
As a divorced mother of two, my children have allowed me to grow in my spiritual journey. In previous years I have struggled with internal battles allowing others to get the better of me.
The last few years, I have truly centred my life around them, and an area that I plan to work on is to be less self-centred, and bask in the moment. I sometimes feel overwhelmed raising my children, yet I fail to allow their father to bask in the moment on special occasions that pertain to them.
I plan to change this in 2017, and allow him to co-parent and be a part of the decision-making process. One of the best lessons my daughter taught me in 2016, was when she allowed her father to take her to school the day of the end of year awards.
I have always received the credit for my children's successes, and little did I know she wanted to share that special day with him. I was upset that every award she received, she was taking it to him. I felt jealous at first, but reflecting, brings peace and closure. When my father was alive, I was always a daddy's girl, and just remembering that day allowed me to share that same feeling of love for my father with my daughter. Being self-centered can cause harm to your own children without you even knowing.
As parents, even if the other parent only attends one activity a year, allow him or her to enjoy it with the child/children. You never know how much it means to them. So in 2017, I will be less self-centred and learn to celebrate my success with others, and allow my children to indulge in the moment with their father on their special occasions.
Forgive and Heal Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."Paul Boese
It has been very difficult for me to learn to forgive others. I wanted to release the burden, pain and hurt that I have been carrying for the past seven years. It took fasting, prayer and supplication last month to get up and meet with my children's father. I did not want to start 2017 holding on to grudges as I wanted a better future for me and my children.
I encountered so many obstacles along the way, and just wanted to go back home and not show up. I sat quietly in my car and reminded myself that this journey and phase was not only about me, and I wanted to let go of my regrets for a better tomorrow. I wanted to clean that wound that has been opened for so long close it up and heal. I wanted to look beyond our faults and dig deep within to embrace the future for our children. It is a personal journey that I want to overcome and to grow from in 2017. I want to ensure that the value of forgiveness is instilled in my children, but in order to do so, I have to lead by example and forgive their father.
In 2017 I will enjoy the serenity, and remove the barrier so that my children, their father and I can grow and have a healthier relationship. The power of forgiveness will affirm that in 2017 I will no longer hold on to the past but let go to embrace the future.
Persevere harder in all that I do!
In the face of pain, oppression and setbacks, I am challenged to emerge above it all. In the words of Michelle Obama, "when they go low, we go high". I will continue to strive for greatness and not allow negative talks, doubters or haters to win. I plan to persevere harder by digging deep within and bringing out the best version of me, as I approach a major milestone the big 40. When the world beats me down, I will fight to lift myself up.
I am afraid to fail, and this has attributed to the many limitations I have placed on myself over the years. I strive for perfection, yet still I am scared to take risks and step out of my comfort zone. I have witnessed first hand how my daughter is not scared of a challenge. As a dancer and performer, she will learn a new routine in just one week, while reading her favourite 300 page book, practising her songs for the children's choir, and still maintaining straight A's in school.
It was a small talk we had in early 2016 that gave me the push I needed to look beyond my faults and embrace my strength. She tells herself that she is the most brilliant student in her class and no matter what others may think or feel about her, she will always strive for greatness.
In that moment, I was reminded by my little girl that in life, the battle is within our own heart, mind and soul, and my only competition is the reflection that I see in the mirror. For 2017, I am ready to take risks, endure the setbacks, push harder during adversities and build and employ my talents. Good bye 216, goodbye fears, self-doubt, anger, regrets and pain.
In 2017 I am ready to embrace confidence, risks and endure the fight to succeed! With arms wide open I will face the struggles, and work to be the best version of me. There will be setbacks, roadblocks and challenges to overcome, but I will stand firm on the rock of Faith. I know my heavenly father will carry me through tough times and my earthly father and angel in Heaven will watch over me. My motto for the New Year is a touching quote from Ben Okri "The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering."