Mon | Sep 25, 2017

Dear Doc | Handsome but kinky

Published:Sunday | January 29, 2017 | 1:00 AM

Q Hi, Doc. I am a divorced lady from Port Antonio. I have recently met a rich, handsome European guy. We get along well and sex has been OK. He makes me laugh a lot, so I am even thinking of marrying him.

There is, however, one strange thing. He asked me to let him watch me pass urine. I found this real odd and kinky.

I did it, but I did not like it. Since then, we have been to bed three times, and on each occasion, he has asked me to do something involving urination. I am not happy about this.

A Then you should not agree to do it. No woman should be pushed into performing acts that she does not like.

Now this guy has something called urolagnia, sometimes called urophilia. It is a condition which used to be called a perversion. But nowadays, psychiatrists prefer to call it paraphilia, which means any kind of sexual interest or compulsion that is different from normal.

Now, urolagnia does seem pretty bizarre to most people. Nobody knows the cause, but psychologists theorise that it may be caused from something that happened when the person was real small, perhaps one-year-old or less. For some reason, it is quite common in Europe and the United States. It is definitely not common in Jamaica.

All the patients with urolagnia whom I have seen were guys. They mostly led rather difficult lives, trying to persuade women to engage in urinary games with them. Most of them resorted to prostitutes, who are often willing to do this sort of thing for money. That is why ads in American and English magazines sometimes mysteriously refer to ladies who provide 'golden showers', or perhaps 'water sports'.

Now I am afraid that there is practically no chance that this new guy of yours is going to stop wanting to go in for the 'water sports.' If you let him, he would probably get you to do all sorts of things which you might not like very much - such as urinating over his body, or allowing him to pass urine over you!

Not many women can easily cope with this. So unless you fancy a lifetime of that sort thing, I must reluctantly advise you not to marry him. Sorry.

 

Can't satisfy women

 

Q As a guy, I have always been puzzled by what women want! I have had sex with 10 girls over the last 15 years, and none of them has been at all grateful.

In fact, they don't seem to want to see me again, Doc! When I try and fix another date, they just don't want to know. Two of them told me that I was too direct. What does that mean?

A Well, I don't know any intimate details about you. But I would guess that you probably rush into sexual intercourse, without spending any time on what are the usual preliminaries.

Remember that most women want tenderness, romance and cuddling before they are ready to even start thinking seriously about sex. And before intercourse begins, they mostly like to have plenty of foreplay.

If you don't know what 'foreplay' is, try looking it up on the Internet.

 

Vaginal dryness killing me!

 

Q At the age of 32, I have just embarked on a new sexual and romantic relationship with a nice guy.

But I am surprised to find that I have a problem with vaginal dryness, Doc.

In fact, whenever my new man enters me, it hurts! It hurts me - and, to some extent, it hurts him!

Why is this, please? Is it my hormones?

A No, I don't think it is likely that you have a hormone problem. But I do think you should get yourself checked out by a doctor, just to make sure that nothing is physically wrong.

What is very important is that you should be totally relaxed whenever you go to bed with your new man. Ask him to give you approximately half an hour of preliminary foreplay. That will help your natural lubricating juices to flow.

Also, please buy yourself some vaginal sex lubricant, and use plenty of it when you are in bed with your boyfriend. Put it on yourself, and also put a little on him, too.

A vaginal lubricant which can be bought with little or no embarrassment in most pharmacies is K-Y Jelly. But if you prefer to buy through the Internet, you'll find that there is an enormous range of products available.

Just type in 'sex lubricants', and you'll be offered over half a million websites, featuring brands such as Liquid Silk, Astroglide, Pjur Woman, and Durex Play. These products can revolutionise your sex life. Good luck.

 

Oral sex? No!

 

Q I recently got married to a beautiful, gorgeous woman, and we love each other. But she now tells me that she cannot discharge unless she has some oral sex from me!

I do not want to do this. In fact, I have never tried it, because I believe in the principle of 'men should not bow down.'

Can you help us, Doc?

A Well, if your bride has discovered that she can orgasm through oral sex, then there cannot be anything wrong with her ability to climax. Therefore, it would be worth experimenting with other ways of giving her pleasure, such as vibrators. You should take care to apply these to the region of her clitoris, which has more erotic nerve endings than anywhere in the female body.

However, the fact is that oral sex given to a woman (cunnilingus) provides enormously effective stimulation, if it is done properly. So a lot of females regard this as their most 'efficient' way of reaching a climax.

Now, I appreciate that like a lot of males, you don't like the idea of 'bowing down.' But, in fact, it is perfectly possible to give this kind of stimulation to a lady without 'bowing'. To be blunt, you can just lie flat on your back on the bed, and then invite your wife to kneel down, astride your face. If you then try kissing her, you will be surprised at the reaction. I wish you both well.

deardoc@gleanerjm.com

 

Q My lover has just discovered a lump in my breast. Should I go to the doctor?

A Yes, immediately! Lumps in the breast should never be ignored. They are quite often cancerous, so they need the immediate attention of a doctor.

 

Can vitamins boost my libido?

 

Q Could I boost my sexual potency and virility by taking vitamins, Doc?

A No. Vitamins have no effect on male sexual performance.

 

The Pill and safety from pregnancy

 

Q Doc, I am 31 and have an active sex life. Can you reassure me that if I went on the Pill, I would be totally safe from pregnancy?

A Well, nothing is totally safe, away from avoiding sex altogether. But if you remember to take the Pill exactly as prescribed, it is real unlikely that you will get pregnant.

Don't forget that it has to be taken each day, for three weeks out of every four. Don't miss any Pills!