Wed | Sep 20, 2017

How to Stay Madly In Love With Your Spouse

Published:Sunday | April 23, 2017 | 4:00 AMKimberly Goodall

Staying madly in love with your spouse is a recipe for a successful marriage. It's easy to be excited about your spouse initially, but if you can't remain on the same wave length and sustain a connection over time, you might struggle as a couple.

To maintain that 'butterfly' feeling of love in your relationship, relationship specialist, Sidney McGill, explained that you must be willing to take ownership of the quality of the connection in your marriage.

"People go into relationships with their hearts and their heads too. The head maintains and sustains the relationship, and you have to intentionally want to grow in the relationship. You have to choose to be emotionally dependent on your partner and make a conscious effort to maintain a happy relationship," McGill shared with Outlook.

 

HOW TO MAKE IT WORK

 

There are certain things you must be willing to do and continue doing to make staying in love and connected to your chosen partner an achievable goal. The interesting thing is, it doesn't matter if your relationship/marriage is only 10 months old or if it's 25th year, these tips from McGill will help you to work on deepening your connection at any and every stage.

1. Give gifts when they are least expected.

2. Say "I love you" sincerely often, and say why too.

3. Imagine your partner's intimate body parts and confirm what you actually like about them regularly.

4. Be grateful for your partner - do this daily even when you are having conflicts - this attitude developed over time will preserve your relationship during hard times.

5. Think about what negative thing you are going to say before actually saying it. How you say it will give better results that carelessly voicing your frustration.

6. Know what things your partner likes whether it be clothes, jewellery, food, fragrances, people.

7. Be vulnerable more and more. Expressing your fears, self-doubts, and emotional dependence gets a little below your self-made ego to that part of you that is real.

8. Don't fake orgasms or have sex if you are not feeling it.

9. Resolve conflicts as quickly as possible when you are not angry. Don't let the sun go down on your wrath. Don't allow an unsolved problem to be bunched up with a newer set of problems.

10. Communicate often via phone, texting, leave notes around the home, face-to-face meetings away from home (such as lunches, dinners, sports, concerts, movies).

11. Know your partner's strengths and weaknesses. Big up the strengths and show compassion towards his or her weaknesses - in other words, look beyond the fault and see the need.

12. Put your partner's interests first - make your plans with them in mind.