Thu | Aug 17, 2017

Dear Doc | He only used a vibrator on me

Published:Sunday | July 9, 2017 | 7:00 AM

 

Q: Could you give me some good advice, doc? I am a married woman, and in the last month of a course at my hotel, I met a handsome and very romantic foreigner.

He kept telling me how beautiful I was, and how much he would like to kiss me. Eventually, I let him. Doc, I have to admit it was a wonderful experience. In his arms, I felt as if I was in heaven! No man has ever kissed me like that before. I went home with my head reeling.

I suppose it was inevitable, but the next day I went to bed with him. He is around 50 and he looked great for a man his age. And he was very complimentary about my body.

After we had been in bed together for a few minutes kissing, I thought he would have sex with me. But oddly enough, he didn't. Instead, he reached into his bedside cupboard and pulled out a vibrator. He used it on me and I can't say that I didn't enjoy it. It was an extraordinary experience, and I actually had three or four orgasms.

After that, I assumed we would have intercourse. But he just continued with the vibrator and that was it.

So, I suppose that in some ways I had a good afternoon. But I could not understand why he just used the vibrator.

Also, I am wondering if he could have given me a VD! Could a vibrator do that? Your advice would be appreciated.

A: Well, let us first get to the question of venereal disease (VD). Yes, vibrators can sometimes cause sexual infections if they are not carefully cleaned and dried after each use. I guess that if he had previously used it on another womon, there is the chance that he may have transferred germs to you.

Frankly, I do not think it is likely. But it would be worth your while going to a doctor for a check-up and maybe some tests.

Now, why did he use a vibrator instead of having sex with you in the regular way? I would theorise that like a lot of ageing 'Casanovas,' he may be losing his ability to get good erections. Many of these men rely on vibrators to satisfy their partners, as an alternative to intercourse. I am slightly surprised that he didn't explain this.

Finally, you are a married woman, but you did not mention your husband. But it is clear that it would be dangerous for your marriage if you continued with this affaire. So if this man is still on the Island, I would advise you to give him up.

Q: My wife has not had a period for eight months. Can we safely assume that it would now be OK to have sex without worrying about contraception presuming she is infertile?

A: It would not be smart to do that. Women can have 'missing menses' for a variety of reasons, including anaemia (low iron), pregnancy and emotional stress.

You did not say how old your wife is, but whatever her age, she should go to a doctor to discuss what is happening with her periods. Do not assume that she is infertile!

Q: Doc, I am a 32 year old guy, and up until last week, I had not had sex for two years, because I had been unwell.

But last Saturday, I was feeling a lot better, so although I am a little embarrassed to say, I actually had sex with three women on the same day.

Could this have hurt me after such a long time without?

A: How were you able to have sex with three women in a single day! You certainly must be recovering.

But as it relates to your health, abstinence has nothing to do with it. The chief risk is that you might have caught a sexually-transmitted infection from one or more of these women.

So please see a doc and ask about tests.

Q: I have had a bad vaginal discharge ever since I slept with a man in Portland earlier this year. It is sometimes white and sometimes green.

What could that be doc?

A: It could be one of a number of common disorders. Vaginal discharge is often due to:

Yeast characterised by a thick, white, 'cheesy' discharge;

Trichomonas typically produces a yellow/green irritant discharge;

Bacterial vaginosis (BV) usually causes greyish, smelly discharge;

Chlamydia very variable white, yellow or pink discharge;

Foreign body in the vagina, such as a forgotten tampon white or bloodstained discharge, often smelling bad.

Now, clearly, you need medical help fast. Please do not have sex until a doctor has treated and cured you.

Q: I get very jealous about the fact that when my wife was 16, she went with a local guy who was notorious as a 'womaniser.'

I know that this was 23 years ago, and the man is now dead. But I am still very jealous when I think of the two of them having sex together.

Can you help me, doc?

A: Well, jealousy (the 'green-eyed monster') is a terrible thing. It can make people think crazy and do silly things.

Have you talked to your wife about this? If not, you should do so. But I think the best answer to your problem is to have some sessions with a therapist or counsellor, or perhaps a minister of religion. An understanding person can help you get this 'poison' out of your system. It will take time.

Q: I am 31, and I would like to try that 'vaginal ring' contraceptive that you mentioned, doc.

But is there any risk that it could give me clots? And I have heard that when a woman's partner withdraws the ring is sometimes stuck over his penis.

Is this true, doctor?

A: The vaginal ring is an excellent contraceptive. But it's just as likely to cause clotting (thrombosis) as the Pill. So don't use it if your doctor thinks that you are at risk of clotting.

Yes, the ring does occasionally end up around the base of the man's penis! But that's no big deal. You should just remove it from his organ and put it back inside.

Q: I'm a man who has had a lot of women. But now I have a little, dark floppy thing which has developed on my foreskin. I guess it is around an inch long.

What is this, please?

A: This is almost certainly a genital wart caused from a virus caught during sex. You must see a doctor, who will prescribe treatment to remove it.

And do not have sex until a doctor says it is safe to do so. You may be infectious at the moment.

When you do resume sex, I suggest that you always use a condom, in order to protect your partner.