Dear Doc | Did she leave me because he has a larger penis?
Q Doc, my wife has just left me for another man. I cannot understand this, he is not as successful as me, and he is certainly not as handsome.
In fact, he is a rather insignificant-looking man, with not much to recommend him. I am sure I am a much better man than him in every way.
But I have heard, through the grapevine, that he is known for having quite a large penis. Doc, please tell me honestly, do you think that is why she has walked out on me?
A Certainly not. This a crazy idea. That is the sort of thing that men believe in. But I don't think I have ever seen a case in which a woman dumped her partner just because another man had a larger penis.
You should try and think about other reasons why your wife might have left. For instance, is this man perhaps a nicer person than you? Is he kinder? Does he treat her a lot better than you do?
It is also possible that he is better in bed than you are, and is more considerate between the sheets, trying to give her adequate amount of pleasure.
From what you say, I do not think you are ever going to get this woman back, but you never know.
Maybe you should text her and tell her that in the future, you will do everything you possibly can to treat her nicely? It is worth a try!
Can an IUD damage my reproductive system?
Q Dear Doc, I want your advice on three female problems that I have. First, I want to use the IUD (the coil) as my method of birth control, but my doctor disagrees because I do not have any children. Can the IUD damage my reproductive system?
Second, can the IUD prevent me from having children when I am ready to do so? And finally, can it cause birth defects? My doctor has me scared to death!
A Well, I am sure that your doctor just wants to do what's best for you.
The reason why so many doctors don't want to insert a coil into a woman who has not yet had children, is because it hurts a lot.
Why? Because in women who are nulliparous (i.e., haven't had children), the passage through the cervix into the womb is very narrow, so it is difficult to push an IUD through the channel. And putting it in is usually very painful.
In recent years, in the United States and England, there has been a tendency for some gynaecologists to insert the devices into women who have not had children. The results have varied.
For instance, in a major trial at an American university, some 83 per cent of women said they were happy with their IUD, but 78 per cent rated the insertion pain as moderate to severe. And 46 per cent experienced faint feelings during the procedure.
I should add that there is another reason why some doctors are reluctant to insert an IUD into women who have not given birth - sexually-transmitted infections are slightly higher in women with IUD. The risk is greatest during the four weeks after insertion.
Please note that if you are married or in a monogamous relationship, then you are not at any unusual risk of getting sex infections.
Now to your specific questions:
- No, the IUD will not damage your reproductive system, unless you are unfortunate enough to get an infection.
- No, the IUD will not prevent you from having children when you want to. All you will have to do is to get a doctor to remove it for you, and you will probably be fertile very soon after.
- No, the IUD does not cause birth defects.
Finally, can I point out that there are now some smaller IUDs (including medicated ones) which are more suitable for women who have not yet given birth. I think you should discuss these newer devices with a doctor. Good luck.
Male fertility cycle
Q Do men have a monthly 'fertility cycle,' like women?
A No, they definitely do not. Men are fertile at all times of the month.
Is the contraceptive 'Patch' safe?
Q Would you recommend the 'Patch' method of birth control, Doctor? On the Internet, I have read of two cases in which women have died as a result of using it. What do you think?
A The 'skin Patch' is a highly effective method of contraception. But it is exactly like taking the Pill through your skin!
So because it contains the same hormones as the Pill, it carries a similar risk of causing thrombosis (that is, clotting). And very occasionally, these clots are fatal.
Therefore, no woman should go on the Patch if she has any risk factors for clotting. These include:
- Family history of clotting
- Being overweight
- A past history of clots in the legs.
Is it easy for me to get doses of testosterone?
Q As a 33-year-old man, I am wondering how easy it would be for me to get doses of testosterone (male hormone)?
A The first question that occurs to me is this: Why do you want testosterone?
My guess is that it is probably because you are worried about your virility, and hope that testosterone could give you better erections, and greater capacity for sex.
But I do not think you should assume (as men sometimes do) that male hormone will make everything right. You should not take testosterone unless a doctor prescribes it for you, having first done tests to show that you really are lacking it.
Please don't be tempted to try and buy testosterone through the Internet. You will probably get ripped off. And you might be sold something that is harmful.
Rhythm birth-control method
Q Can you explain to me the days in my cycle that I am most fertile? I am thinking of practising the 'rhythm method'. I get a five-day period, on a 28-day cycle.
A I would really ask you not to use the rhythm method, unless you have a skilled nurse, midwife or doctor who can supervise you closely. It is far too unreliable to practise without professional help.
As you have a 28-day cycle, which is presumably regular, your most fertile days would be from the 11th day to the 18th. But most importantly, you have to count from the start of your cycle. I wish you well.
I cheated on my wife, could I have a STI?
Q I am ashamed to say that while my wife was in the country this week visiting her mother, I cheated on her with a girl in downtown Kingston.
Doc, what are the odds that I have caught an infection?
A Well, that depends on a number of factors, like whether you wore a condom, and whether the woman was a 'professional'. But I guess there has to be a good chance that you picked up something.
So please check with a doctor tomorrow. And do not have sex with your wife until you have been told that you are OK.