Tue | Nov 13, 2018

Dear Doc | My husband is not good at oral sex

Published:Sunday | November 12, 2017 | 12:00 AM

Q I recently got married, and have just found out that my husband does crack. I think it is affecting our sex life as he is not interested in sex anymore. I am 40 years old and he is in his late 50s. When we do have sex, he can still hold an erection, but I enjoy oral sex more and he doesn't know how to do oral sex properly, so sometimes I am left frustrated. I was infected with chylamydia from a previous lover, and sometimes when I have sex it burns and oftentimes my lower back and belly bottom hurts. I was treated for it, but I am not sure if that's the reasons for the burning and the pain in my lower back and belly bottom.

A Crack, the smokable form of cocaine, has numerous negative effects on the body. Many users get hooked because, in the initial stages, it causes an intense desire for sex and heightens pleasure. However, with prolonged use, it decreases the blood flow to the penis, causing erectile dysfunction, and reduces testosterone levels, which affects sperm count and the neural pathways associated with sex drive. Therefore, it is in his best interest to discontinue this habit immediately. This may not be easy, so he should visit a health practitioner who will guide him through the process.

Oral sex can be a contentious issue in a relationship, so open honest discussions about one's sexual expectations would be beneficial to you and your husband.

The symptoms you describe suggest that you could have a pelvic infection. Untreated pelvic infection can have serious complications, so please see your doctor as soon as possible.


Natural remedies for yeast infections


Q Doc, is there any natural method that can be used to cure candida (yeast infection)? If so, can you please suggest some to me? I've received medication seven times, and it did not help. Sometimes I get so frustrated and feel like giving up on going to see a general practitioners since, so far, they have not been able to help me. Is it an infection that just cannot be cured?

A Candidiasis is not incurable. Certain lifestyle practices can encourage recurrent infections, these include regular or prolonged use of close-fitting underwear made from synthetic fabric, poor hygiene, use of highly perfumed ointments/creams, and douching.

There are different types of candida - a swab of the area sent to a lab for testing will show which organism is causing the problem, as some antifungal medication only treat certain types of candida. You may need a combination of both oral and topical treatment.

Medical conditions such as diabetes and HIV suppress the immune system making it more susceptible to candidiasis, so it is important to get tested for any of these.

There are certain 'natural' remedies that have proven effective against vaginal candidiasis. These include:

• Plain yogurt (no added sugar or flavours) contains organisms similar to the ones which help to maintain the acidic environment in the vagina, hence discouraging the growth of candida.

• Coconut oil (preferably cold-pressed, preservative-free) is effective against many bacteria and fungi, including candida.

• Tea tree oil is an essential oil that has potent antifungal properties. Essential oils are very concentrated and need to be diluted before use, as they can irritate the skin.

• Garlic is also very effective against candida and many other microbes. Some women insert a peg daily until their symptoms clear up. Garlic tends to burn and sting irritated skin, which may be intolerable for some people. A word of caution - sometimes the garlic clove gets trapped deep within the vagina and needs to be removed by a health-care provider.


Can a miscarriage affect future pregnancies?


Q Good day, Doc. I wanted to know if having amenorrhoea for years means you will menstruate longer. Also, I was pregnant in November of last year. At six weeks, I stopped feeling pregnant. Two weeks later, I passed clots of blood, a foetus, etc. I looked it up and saw that I had a blighted ovum. The thing is, I did not visit the doctor as I know I passed everything. Was this a foolish move? Can this affect future pregnancies? Can stress affect a pregnancy?

A Good day to you. Amenorrhoea (absence of menstruation) for an extended time does not mean that the periods are 'saved up' and will add to your menstruating years. The most common cause of Amenorrhoea is pregnancy. A blighted ovum occurs when a fertilised egg does not develop into an embryo (baby parts) - just that the empty sac is present, but it contains no 'baby parts'. The fact that you saw foetal (large baby parts) means that it was not a blighted ovum, but possibly a complete abortion from some other cause.

Blighted ovum is a common cause of miscarriage in early pregnancy. The contents are usually completely expelled and can sometimes be mistaken for a period, so many women would not seek medical attention unless fever, abdominal pain or prolonged bleeding is present. Chromosomal abnormalities in the sperm and/or egg usually cause blighted ovums to develop. A blighted ovum does not usually affect future pregnancies, but a miscarriage from unknown cause can.

High levels of prolonged stress contribute to many health problems and also has a negative effect on pregnancy. Many pregnant women who are subjected to prolonged stress are more prone to blood pressure problems, which can lead to premature labour and low-birthweight babies.


Crazy in love


Q Doctor, I am a 22-year-old with a son. I was at work when a man in uniform came over and started talking to me. We exchanged numbers. A day later, I called him, and we met that same evening. We had sex that same night - protected sex. I can't stop thinking about him. I am so in love with him. We are the same age, and I am the one always calling and texting him. He has told me that he is not ready for a serious relationship, but when he is around me, he shows me love and that he's interested. The second time we had sex, I was drunk, it was unprotected. Please help me, I'm in love with him and going crazy 'cause he doesn't give me the same. I can't get him out of my system.

A This seems to be a very passionate encounter, and it may be good if you took some time away from this man to get your wits together. He has already told you that he is not ready for a serious relationship.

Some people are quite happy to have sex and occasional companionship without the commitment and responsibilities that come with a serious relationship. Are you willing to settle for that?


Ingrown hair on my foreskin causing discomfort


Q Doc, I have a little problem stemming from an ingrown hair on the foreskin of my penis some years ago. Now what has happened is that the area has become very sensitive. So much so that when I have an erection, if I were to touch that area, I would lose my erection. Is it possible to remove that piece of skin only, or is there something I could rub on it to make this issue go away?

A The penile foreskin has numerous nerve fibres and any trauma or surgery can alter the neural pathways leading to hypersensitivity. There are anaesthetic creams which can temporarily reduce the discomfort, but this is not ideal. Taking vitamin B supplements on a regular basis can alleviate many nerve problems. Sometimes the hair regrows, buried beneath the skin, impinging on nerves and create hypersensitivity. Visit your doctor, who can examine the area and discuss your treatment options.