Fri | Nov 16, 2018

Dear Doc | My husband says 'Do doggie style' is a sin

Published:Sunday | March 25, 2018 | 12:00 AM

Q: I am happily married for 10 years. I enjoy sex with my husband, but I never had an orgasm until I went to bed with this man I met on a business trip. It seems to work for me in the doggy style position. Since that night with this man, I have asked my husband if we can do it in this position but he says it is a sin and we are Christians and should not do this as it could harm me. What do you think, Doc? I don't want to spend the rest of my life without orgasms and I do not want to continue cheating on my husband.

A: Good day to you, this is indeed a very challenging situation. You should not resume sex with your husband until after you have been to your doctor and got tested for sexually transmitted infections (including HIV and syphilis), especially if this man did not use a condom. You will need to wait at least three months to get tested for HIV so during this period, you may have to take another business trip or ask your husband to use a condom, which may raise questions.

Being in an intimate relationship for 10 years and not experiencing an orgasm is unfortunate but very common among women. The problem is that many men do not take the time to engage in foreplay or stimulate the clitoris.

Many women find it easier to orgasm in rear-entry positions because the penis is in direct contact with the front wall of the vagina which contains a sensitive area known as the G-spot and also the back and 'arms' of the clitoris.

There is no evidence that varying sexual positions can be harmful to you, however, men are more vulnerable to penile fractures in women-on-top positions.

Perhaps both of you should seek counselling from a sex therapist as the option of continually cheating on your husband is not good for your health and may destroy your marriage. Cheer up, despite your husband's reservations most ( if not all ) men find sex in "doggy style" positions extremely satisfying.

I have an extremely moist vagina

Q: Dear Doc, I recently read a comment where you said the vagina is usually dry after an orgasm. This caught me by surprise as my vagina is not usually dry. I have been experiencing discharge from my vagina since I was 12 and I am now 30. It doesn't have any smell and is usually white and there is no itching. However, the texture changes and has more mucous when my menstrual cycle is close. I was concerned about it a couple of times and visited doctors. They gave me something thinking it was a yeast infection but those never helped. I even did STI and HIV tests several times and those came back clean. Is this discharge normal since you said the vagina is usually dry?

A: The female orgasm is usually dry, that is, there is usually no ejaculate ( squirting of fluid during orgasm). However, some women do squirt fluid during orgasm and this is called the "female ejaculation". The vagina and vulva are always slightly moist due to secretions from the cervix and surrounding glands. This moisture keeps the delicate flesh in that area from drying out, cracking and bleeding as these areas experience a lot of friction during sex and daily activities such as walking. The fluid is exactly as you described - white to clear in colour, thin or slimy in consistency depending on the stage of the menstrual cycle. This is normal and in the absence of infection, does not itch or have a bad odour. During sexual stimulation, vaginal moisture increases to allow the penis to enter and move easily during intercourse. This is important as the tremendous friction would cause bruising, bleeding, or tears in the vagina and on the penis. Based on what you have stated, you have no reason to worry.

 

Q: Dear Doctor, I prefer to stand while working at the office, is this OK?

A: Recent research has shown that sitting for prolonged periods lead to lower back problems and is a significant factor in the development of diabetes, hypertension, heart disease and obesity; so standing desks are now in vogue. Some people even work while on a treadmill (this may be limited by the type of occupation); which may be better because the human body is not a statue and was designed to be dynamic ( i.e. occupying a variety of positions). Prolonged standing is also inappropriate as it puts immense pressure on the leg veins especially in overweight people and may lead to varicose veins, ankle and knee problems. Like in everything, balance is the key.

deardoc@gleanerjm.com