Fri | Dec 14, 2018

Dear Doc | My boyfriend wants us to use sex toys

Published:Sunday | April 8, 2018 | 12:00 AM

Q Dear Doc, lately my boyfriend has become very interested in sex toys. He told me he has ordered some toys online, and a friend is going to bring them down. I have been reading up online, but I would like your expert opinion. Do you think that the penis ring is safe to use?

A It is a reality that sex toys are in common use today.

The penis ring is worn along the shaft of the penis, usually at the base (i.e., closer to the body) during intercourse. The purpose is to restrict blood flowing out of an erect penis thereby promoting harder and longer erections.

Many men with erectile dysfunction (ED) employ a similar device attached to a vacuum pump.

Your safety concerns are legitimate because incorrect/prolonged use can damage the nerves/blood vessels of the penis, so ensure that your boyfriend follows the manufacturer's instructions carefully. Size is also important, so it is in your best interest to consider one with an adjustable feature.

Men with heart problems, hypertension or who are on medication for blood circulation should consult their doctor before using this device.


Boyfriend doesn't want sex after I gave birth


Q Dear Doc, I've been in a relationship for over 14 years, and I currently have a baby.

During my pregnancy, I was unable to have sex because I had a stitch. Now my baby is eight months old, and I am yet to have sex. My baby's father does not even want to touch me. I've made up my mind to leave because he doesn't want to talk. When it comes to the baby, he's good - he's a nice family man but we just do not have an intimate connection. Please, can you help me?

A Over 14 years is a lot of time invested in a relationship. Many people do not stay married that long, so there must be many positive aspects to the relationship. Therefore, giving up before trying counselling may not be the smartest choice at this time.

Many men (particularly first-time fathers), go through a period of anxiety during their partner's pregnancy and breastfeeding period. Some men who witness their partner giving birth find it psychologically disturbing and hard to resume sex. For many, the idea of putting the penis the same place their baby came out, can lead to a loss of sexual desire for their partner.

Some men even have difficulty touching their woman's breasts after seeing their infant breastfeed. So for those men who have these challenges, it may be better for them not to be present during the birthing process and his partner cover her breasts as much as possible during breastfeeding. These may seem like extreme measures, but they do help.

Give him some time; be patient. Try to spend some time together without the baby (easier said than done). Seek professional counselling if you have to, but walking away from a 14-year, mainly positive relationship is not wise.


Help with hyperpigmentation


Q Dear Doc, I am a 19-year-old male who is experiencing hyperpigmentation. I have one around my mouth, and two at the side of my mouth. These areas are really black. The one on my forehead is caused by a chemical burn I had a bump and I placed toothpaste on it and the area has turned black and has not cleared up. The ones at the side of my mouth just occurred naturally. Is there anything you can recommend? An over-the-counter cream that will eliminate the spots?

AIt is difficult to say what these spots are without a visual inspection. Most individuals with darker complexion tend to develop hyperpigmentation in response to skin injury such as squeezing and bruising. This is due to the high level of melanin (chemical that gives skin a dark colour ... ranges from brown to black). Squeezing and other skin trauma causes more melanin to be produced this is particularly true in relation to the bump that was on your forehead.

The hyperpigmentation around your mouth is a different story. It may be post inflammatory from acidic drinks, smoking, genetics, hormonal or even related to some types of bowel cancer. Therefore, plastering a cream on it to change the colour without first ascertaining the cause of the condition is not recommended. Please visit your nearest health clinic or private doctor as soon as possible for an assessment.


Is this fibroadenoma?


Q Dear Doc, I am 25 years old and I felt a lump in my right breast close to my armpit. The thing is, I had two lumps removed from my breasts already. Three years ago from the right breast, and five years ago from the left. These turned out to be fibroadenomas, which they say are harmless. Do you think this lump could also be another fibroadenoma? I already had surgery on both breasts, and they still have visible scars and look uneven. I do not want another surgery at this time. What are my options?

A A lump in your breast should never be ignored. Though breast cancer is less common in women under the age of 40, it can occur especially in women with a family history of breast and other cancers.

Breast cancers in younger women are harder to detect and tend to be more aggressive, so seek medical attention urgently.


Scared of nurse's prescription


Q Dear Doc, I have some blisters on my penis, and went to the clinic to check it out. I did not get to see the doctor. I saw a nurse who told me I had herpes. She wrote me a prescription for some medication, but I am afraid to fill it because I never knew that nurses could write prescription. I wonder if she knows what she is talking about. Meantime, this thing is scratching me and giving me hell. What do you think, Doc? Should I get this medicine? I have no money to visit a private doctor because I live from hustling.

A Many local health centres have nurses who are specially trained to diagnose and treat specific conditions, and yes they do write prescriptions for certain conditions. There are also staff members who may not be nurses, but they are trained to diagnose and treat only sexually transmitted infections. These individuals are supervised by a doctor who also reviews the prescriptions before the patient is allowed to leave with them. These staff members relieve the workload on the doctors who are then free to deal with more complicated cases. So, feel free to go right ahead and purchase your medication.