Tue | Dec 18, 2018

'Love Like it Never Happened': Overcoming the heartache

Published:Sunday | July 15, 2018 | 12:00 AMRocheda Bartley

Sometimes we find ourselves netted in mind-boggling conditions. We're betrayed, deceived, and abused. Sadly, many times the persons who we expect to protect, love, and support us are the perpetrators. What do we do in such heartbreaking situations where we feel hopeless and defeated?

Simple, love unconditionally. That's the message Davine Butler, motivational speaker, entrepreneur and now author, proposes as she promotes her book. It's fittingly called Love Like It Never Happened.

"I always tell people that there is a difference between who I am and what I do. Davine is the mind of God. She is the essence of God, created to bring change and impact in this world. What I do is, I am a wife and a mom," Butler said.

Her 'favour' for writing has been brewing since she was a child. Back then, her dream was to become a well-known actress, as she also had, and still holds, a liking for drama. As she grew, her love for writing expanded even more, especially when she was a student at the Oberlin High School. And her passion was fuelled by the inspirations her now deceased cousin, Novelette, flooded her with.

For most of her childhood she lived with her grandmother, after her mother had moved to Kingston. She grew up in Cavaliers, a rural area in St Andrew, in what she describes as the tales of two families. Her parents lived as neighbours, but reviled each other.

"I don't know how the disagreement started that caused the separation. I lived beside my father and watched him with his other family. So, at times, I'm over on one side with my mom and I have to be on my 'Ps and Qs' to ensure that she doesn't get offended by anything my father or his family said or did, and vice versa," Butler explained.

The result of this was she grew up having a poor relationship with her father. However, several years after, she eventually grew a little closer to him, just days before his untimely passing, almost 20 years ago.

This along with her love and passion for God, which was influenced by the guidance of her grandmother, and her innate desire to help others who suffer in unbearable circumstances are a few of the factors that pushed her to pen her book.

 

DESTINED TO WRITE

 

She was an avid reader and dreamed of writing her own book for as long as she can remember. But she only found the courage when her husband and business partner, Ariff, pushed her to fulfil her desire. The Butlers are the owners of Bloozick Multimedia, a film and multimedia development enterprise. As she told Outlook, Ariff knows her worth and capabilities and sees success in her eyes and hands.

Love Like It Never Happened tells the tale of a distressed wife who is deluded by a perfidious husband. Faced with excruciating pains brought on by the deception, verbal abuse and other afflictions, she questions if she will ever be able to love her husband again. This was a question Butler was posed with after her close friend was thrown into this, state and it's the flame that sparked her book.

"All of us have a story and sometimes we'll mistake the characters in our story for the persons who are around us. There's always a message in our story. The message in my story is, you can win in spite of 'it'. I always want to see people at their best, and this is what drives me," she told Outlook.

It's infused with an essence of encouraging intimations inspired by the Word of God and will help many persons to ride out their stormy moments and emerge as victors.

Her book is available on Amazon. But for now, she has these tips to help you to love like 'it' never happened.

Don't take it personally - The enemy's attack is not so much against you as a person, but against what God has placed inside of you. You were created to fulfil your divine purpose; this is just a distraction to get you off course and to stop you from getting to your divine destiny.

What's done is done - Don't hold on to past hurt. In order for you to move towards the greater that is ahead, you have to find a way to let 'IT' go. The more you hold on is the more bitter and angry you will become, and those toxic emotions can also cause you to do some things you will regret.

Leave ALL vengeance to God - Nothing can be hidden from God. He will vindicate you and pay everyone according to their work. Leave it in His hands because He is the Righteous Judge. Sometimes we can't see beyond the pain in that moment, but your Heavenly Father sees all things so allow Him to work it out.

Immerse yourself in God - "He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." When you immerse yourself in His presence and live a life of prayer, you will be equipped to handle anything that comes against you.

Don't do it alone - The Lord has placed people in our lives to walk with us in difficult times. Find a mature person in the Lord that you can trust to share with. Don't underestimate the power of friendships.

rocheda.bartley@gleanerjm.com